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Have you ever been lied to by a lover? In this straightforward and supportive book, therapist Susan Forward profiles the wide variety of liars, shows you how to deal with the lies -- from the benign to the lethal -- that these men spin, and gives practical strategies to stop them before they ruin your relationship and, ultimately, your life.
Once you find out the truth about your lover and his lies, what do you do? Forward offers practical, proven, step-by-step methods for healing the wounds caused by his deception and betrayal. She provides all the communication and behavioral techniques you need to deal with a lover's lies, telling you exactly what to say, when and how to respond to his reactions, and how to present your requirements for staying in the relationship. With understanding and compassion, she helps you decide whether your relationship can be saved and shows you how to move beyond doubt and regret if you feel that it can't. But whether you stay or go, you can learn to love and trust again.
I would give this book 10 stars if I could. I love the author's no nonsense, no excuses style of writing.
I bought two copies of this book - one for myself and one for my sister. The reason I bought it is because my sister is in a marriage full of lies & infidelity and I wanted to understand why she stays in the marriage. It did help me to see that she sees everything through rose colored glasses and is in major denial because all her hopes and dreams have been shattered therefore she has to cling to something!
Before I read this book I thought that my sister's situation was unique, that she & her husband wouldn't fit into any category. Boy, was I wrong! I was completely amazed that all these liars fit into neat little categories. My brother-in-law is "the confessor" and uses "the insanity defense" as his excuses for lying and cheating. I could not believe that I was reading about their life in this book! Even the things that my sister tells us (her... read more
Being in a relationship with someone who lies is extremely difficult, the disbelief when you first realize they are a liar; then in the decision of what you should do about it. Susan writes with empathy towards these situations. As not all relationships start out badly, nor do they always start out with a bunch of lies. Its after you are settled in the relationship, the realization hits.
Many different women, and their relationships are described in this book. Along with these relationship descriptions are the results of the decisions that they took. Not all relationships were doomed.
One good piece of advice I recently read, is if in a relationship you are lied to once, its a misunderstanding, the second time, its a moment of huge reflection; upon the third lie, leave before you are too involved. Susan empowers the reader with ideas, suggestions, and some of the reasons why your lover may be the way they are.
Its definately one of the best books... read more
For months, I've felt as if I was the only person on earth that has had to go through the lies and deceptions of a Sociopath. And, I felt as if I was the one going nuts because of the rage, anger, hurt, and confusion that I felt inside but could not seem to control. This book really helped put my feelings back into perspective and helped me understand that I'm not going crazy and that my feelings are 'NORMAL' for what I've been through. I love the way that it was written in a language towards healing me from my own inner strengths and was not at all a 'man bashing' book. I recommend this book to any woman that has been deceived and is searching for an understanding. It has helped me realize that my world has not ended, but has begun yet again, with a new shade of sunshine to lead me in the right path of love and relationships!!! Only "I" can control "MY" life!
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