But I Love Him

Explains the causes and the warning signs of abusive relationships, and suggests ways parents and teenagers can identify, confront, and prevent abuse.

Customer Reviews:

Not Only for parents, Teenage Daughters should read this too

By "caliangel" - June 9, 2001

I am a teenage girl who was in an abusive realtionship. One day I stumbled across this book in the self-help section of a book store. It caught my attention so I bought it (even though it was focused towards the parents of teenage girls). I began reading it only to find that I wish I would have read this book before I started dating him. I was in an abusive relationship for three years. Knowing what I know after reading "But I Love Him" I would not have dated the guy (and I no longer do). This book by far is the best book I have ever read. I strongly think that every teenage girl should read this book before they start to date. It will open their eyes to a world of abuse they have never seen or been through before. I couldn't get through chapters without crying for it hit home very hard. The author has this book right on, like she had been through it before. Buy this book for you and then have your daughter read it also. LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S A REAL EYE OPENER.

First Time A Victim, Second Time You Volunteered

By Carmen Matthews "The Serene Samurai" - May 5, 2003

Before I tell people who I meet that my life mission is to guide women and girls to earn trust in themselves, I often have the privilege of being asked relationship or mother/daughter questions by girls between the ages of 14 and 21.With the comments that I've heard, lately, I feel compelled to review this excellent book, in hopes that those whom I haven't spoken to find something in both this review, and in Dr. Murray's book, to guide them to earn trust in themselves.To earn trust in themselves does require you to accept the reality of now, and to admit what you may have up to now not admitted (If you have trouble doing this, this admission is a great beginning).Let's start with what makes abusive relationships different from teen girls, versus women who are much older.With teen girls the priorities are:
1. Peer approval (this is usually about image, not reality)
2. Gender-role expectations (some girls are taught that
having a boyfriend is analogous to... read more

For adolescent girls -- and all of us who love them

By Melodye Shore "www.MelodyeShore.com" - September 19, 2000

Somewhere along the line, the unacceptable became de rigueur. In a reality that's far different from the innocent, endearing pictures we may have about adolescent love, an alarming number of teen girls paint pictures of "love" that include jealousy, verbal abuse, and forceful - even violent - physical encounters. Yet, when they're asked to confront the uncomfortable, unacceptable nature of their relationships, these girls wail in protest, "But I love him!"In this book, Dr. Jill Murray begins with the assertion that love is a behavior. She outlines and describes dating behaviors that are intentional acts of power and control - the hallmarks of an abusive relationship. In contrast, she also provides descriptions and examples of healthy, loving relationship - one with equality at its core.Against this backdrop, Dr. Murray provides a practical guide for protecting our teen daughters from unhealthy, abusive relationships. The reader learns how to identify abusive... read more