Take the Bully by the Horns: Stop Unethical, Uncooperative, or Unpleasant People from Running and Ruining Your Life
How often have you wished you knew how to defuse the difficult people who wreak havoc on your life? Whether it's a neighbor who keeps disturbing your peace, an employer who manipulates you into unpaid overtime, a spouse who criticizes and controls your every move, a colleague who uses scare tactics to intimidate you, or a student who teases your child without mercy, Take the Bully by the Horns will give you real-life strategies stop people from taking advantage of you, including how to:
* Adopt a "don't you dare" attitude * Refuse to play The Blame-Shame Game * Beat em to the punch...line * Stop paying the price of nice * Put all kidding aside * Act on your anger instead of suffering in silence * Savior Self from martyrs and guilt-mongers * Not be victimized by crazy-making Jekyll/Hyde personalities * Adopt the Clarity Rules and Rights
With these tools, you can take back your peace of mind and your sanity. You'll be able to fight back constructively and prevent harrassment by bullies, from the workplace to the schoolyard. The bold suggestions in Take the Bully by the Horns will show you once and for all how to convince unfair or unkind relatives, co-workers, customers, or strangers to either behave cooperatively or leave you alone.
Here's the book to get..
By a reader "_a_reader" - November 16, 2002
Most of us were taught to be nice and want to believe that being nice will "work," but this author discourages practicing the golden rule to the point of becoming the "golden fool." The author explains the tactics we normally use with other people and explains why these tactics don't work with bullies and in fact may encourage the bully to intensify his or her efforts. For instance, while active listening and empathy may help in many cases, giving a bully a sympathetic ear will perpetuate the abuse. This will be useful to you if you have received well-meaning but misguided advice to be nice to or in some way accommodate the bully. The first 65 or so pages flesh out the problem, help you understand why it is appropriate to defend yourself, etc. Most of the remaining 250 or so pages help you learn what to say. The author provides LOTS of examples. For instance, instead of saying "I don't think it's very nice of you to say I'm a terrible cook," you should... read more
By Darthjal "Darthjal" - January 5, 2005
This is probably a great book for the majority of people who have problems with bullies. Unfortunately, it doesn't at all address the problem of having a bully for a boss. It does touch on the problem where a boss might have a bully for an employee, but since management is normally on the boss's side, I don't feel that there's much here for people who are being bullied by their employers. This may limit the book's usefulness for those who feel trapped between an abusive employer and a hostile job market.
Finally -- a book that dares to tell the truth.
By JRG - February 25, 2003
I worked with a bully and I tried all the win-win techniques other experts suggest. Not only did they not help, they made the situation worse. This author says that bullies only respect strength and they see kindness as weakness. One of her suggestions made the whole book worthwhile. She said to use the word "you" instead of the word "I" when dealing with a bully because "I" words come across as whining and "you" words (i.e., "You used to get away with that, you don't get away with that anymore) hold bullies accountable. If you have someone in your life who is taking advantage of your good nature, get this book. It's a lifesaver.
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