A Southern Belle Primer: Or Why Paris Hilton Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma

Who knows what lurks in the hearts of the women of Dixie? A Southern Belle Primer tells us all. In this rollicking guide to survival in a society that has not gone with the wind, the mystique of the Southern belle is exposed. Maryln Schwartz’s cult classic and perennial bestseller returns with a new look to steer the next generation of belles through the enduring world of Southern propriety and protocol.

Being a belle is not a part-time job—it’s a cradle-to-grave commitment—and A Southern Belle Primer covers it all. With anecdotes, observations, lists, and delightful illustrations, the Primer delves into family trees, big hair, the Twelve Patterns of the Silver Zodiac (everyone knows girls who choose certain silver patterns are fast), the fashion calendar (the do-or-die seasonal etiquette of patent leather, gloves, and stockings), honorary belles, wannabe belles, fallen belles, and even why Paris Hilton will never be a Kappa Kappa Gamma.

The Primer also reveals shocking real-life stories from contemporary Southern belle history: the truth behind the Garden Club wars in Natchez, Mississippi, the Chattanooga woman shunned by society for a faux pas in her chicken salad recipe, and the disastrous white-shoe-in-September affair during the Texas visit of Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York.

What The Official Preppy Handbook did for the madras-and-penny-loafer set A Southern Belle Primer does for the indestructible ladies from below the Mason–Dixon Line, in an uproarious guide to navigating a society that continues to fascinate people the world over.