Babies and Other Hazards of Sex: How to Make a Tiny Person in Only 9 Months, with Tools You Probably Have around the Home
In this classic crack-up of a book, Dave Barry gives his wacky perspective on sex, childbirth, parenting and other forms of slow, cruel torture.
In Babies and Other Hazards of Sex, Dave exposes natural childbirth for what it is: a pop phenomenon of the 1960s that, along with paisley bell-bottoms and creative sideburns, deserves a rest. He examines the new federal law requiring prospective fathers to free themselves from their self-made macho prisons--to laugh, cry, love and just generally behave like certified wimps.
Dave also reveals, for the first time in print, the secret chant for painless childbirth.
Then learn why no secret chant could possibly take a woman's mind off the fact that she is in such pain that she wants a gigantic comet to crash into the earth and kill her and her husband and the dotor and the nurses and everyone else in the world.
By John L. Velonis - December 1, 2000
When I first read this, before I had (or even considered having) children, I assumed that it was intended as humor, and I laughed (a lot) at what I imagined were its comic exaggerations. Now that I have a child, I realize that this is in fact a no-nonsense, completely serious and accurate description of pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing. While other baby books mislead you with emotional descriptions of the joy and wonder your "little one" will bring, Dave Barry pulls no punches in his hard-hitting, gritty portrayal of baby behavior. There is a quiz early on whose purpose is to deter prospective parents who may be weak of heart or stomach, with questions such as "How many diapers will an average baby go through before it is toilet-trained?" or "What is the most repulsive thing a baby would put in its mouth?" Those of you who are parents will know the answers. Those of you who are not, be warned: you may think Dave Barry's answers are too... read more
Move over Dr. Spock! Barry's on the case...whew, thanks!
By Alan R. Holyoak - May 17, 2000
Hi all you expectant parents out there. If are like my wife and I, as soon as we learned that we were pregnant my wife immersed herself in Dr. Spock and other "reputable" child care and parenting books. Being of a somewhat different ilk, I undertook my own brand of pre-baby training with this wonderful primer about babies, where they come from, what happens when they get here, why they do what they do, and how to cope with it all as a parent.Know what? Dave Barry's book is the most readable, enjoyable, and useful introduction to the little people who show up at our homes that I have ever seen. Move over Dr. Spock! Dave gives advice about diapers and dealing with unsolicited advice on parenting. He also explains in perfectly understandable detail why babies spit up their food (it's the "food-return loop" that causes it), drool, and other typically unexplainable baby behaviors. In addition, there are tips to fathers about when diapers need to... read more
Tragically realistic, chilling in its detail!!!
By A Customer - June 1, 1999
At last, an author willing strip away the pastel, candy-coated mystic of parenthood! If you have children, read this book and know you are not alone. If you're considering having children---RUN AWAY!!!Seriously, though, like the movie "Parenthood", this book is especially hilarious for those of us who've been there. Right on, Dave!