How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage
Identify the source of missteps in your marriage–and learn exactly what you can do about it!
Tired of arguing with your spouse over the same old issues? Longing for a marriage with less conflict and more intimacy? Struggling under a load of resentment?
In How We Love, relationship experts Milan and Kay Yerkovich draw on the powerful tool of attachment theory to show how your early life experiences created an “intimacy imprint”–an underlying blueprint that shapes your behavior, beliefs, and expectations of all relationships, especially your marriage. They identify four types of injured imprints that combine in marriage to trap couples in a repetitive dance of pain.
The groundbreaking principles and practical, solution-focused tools in this book will equip you to… ·identify the imprints disrupting your marriage, ·understand how your love style impacts your mate, ·break free of negative patterns that hinder your relationship, ·enhance your sexual intimacy, and ·create the deeper, richer marriage of your dreams.
Discover the truths that have transformed countless relationships– including the authors’ marriage–so you can stop stepping on each other’s toes and instead be swept along by the music of a richer, more passionate relationship.
Includes a study guide for individual or group discussion.
Why Marriages Suffer
By Michael K. Silva "Editor Dude" - October 10, 2006
"Can you recall a time as a child when you were upset and someone comforted you?"
Milan and Kay believe that the answer to that simple question is the secret force that shapes the way we relate to others for the rest of our lives. It's a powerful, controversial question, but the answer is even more remarkable. Did your response to comfort (or a lack of it) create a pattern to play out in relationships?
In this book, the Yerkoviches have distilled all the marriage problems they encounter in their practice into this one root problem--a lack of comfort--and then shown how to solve them all with a simple, practical solution. Virtually any challenge you're facing--lack of communication, resentment, old arguments, in-laws, blaming, anger, emotional pain, expectations--can be overcome through this systematic reframing of the reason for decreased intimacy. If it sounds too good to be true, you need to get the book and prove yourself wrong.
Their overall message is resoundingly hopeful and their belief that people can change
By FaithfulReader.com - June 5, 2007
Husband and wife Milan and Kay Yerkovich have compiled an intriguing body of counseling scenarios detailing their imprinted love styles. Thoughtfully presented, the text breeds understanding and compassion between spouses who are struggling to make their marriage work. The authors base much of their material on the premise that adults continue to live out in patterns of communication and intimacy largely based upon what they learned and experienced in their childhood home. Thus stated, the Yerkovichs offer lengthy case studies and examples of what each "love style" looks like and how it conflicts with others.
Between the two of them, this professional couple has over 25 years of pastoral counseling experience (Milan's) added to 13 years of marriage and family counseling (Kay's) --- not to mention the fact that they've learned a lot firsthand through the ups and downs of their own 33-year marriage. For openers, the Yerkovichs offer a single question upon which the... read more
Where is the hidden camera?
By Steve Gick - April 28, 2007
After reading just a few chapters of How We Love, I got the distinct impression that someone had been following me around, reading my mail, and using me as subject material for a book. Milan and Kay show great insight into the intricate "dance" of our relationship with our spouse. Although much of the information in their book is gleened from other sources, they have woven that information, their personal experiences, and examples from therapy sessions into a wonderful tool to improve the relationship between a husband and wife. Reading this book has prompted new conversations relating to our past, and our family relationships.