Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World

Decades of child-centered parenting have resulted in self-centered children, and parents are desperate for a new approach. In this insightful book, Rigby shines the light of reality on the self-esteem philosophy and espouses a new goal of parenting: gently bumping children off self-center and teaching them to be unselfish givers instead of self-absorbed takers. Using the metaphor of the window versus the mirror, Rigby explains that when parents strive to instill self-esteem in their children, they teach them to gaze only at themselves in the mirror. With the focus on themselves, children do not learn how to strive for goals, handle disappointment, or benefit from constructive criticism. This narcissist self-view engenders selfishness, mediocrity, and dysfunction. But when parents reframe their children’s point of view so they are, instead, looking through a window, these children still see a reflection of themselves, but at the same time, they are able to look beyond themselves to the needs of the greater world outside themselves. Rigby’s encouraging approach shows parents that it’s never to late to change their children’s point of view and equip them to interact with kindness and respect in a world outside themselves. Teaching concepts such as developing a passion for compassion, learning to give by forgiving, and filling every day with thanksgiving, Raising Unselfish Children in a Self-Absorbed World offers a new paradigm for parenting—one that educates the heart and teaches moms and dads how to parent with a new end in mind.