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Temper tantrums in the supermarket. Tears that seem to come out of nowhere. Battles over homework that are more like wars. When your child has problems regulating his or her emotions, there's no hiding it. Children with intense emotions go from 0 to 100 in seconds and are prone to frequent emotional and behavioral outbursts that leave parents feeling bewildered and helpless.
Other parents may have told you that it's just a phase or that your child needs discipline. In reality, your child may have emotion dysregulation, a tendency to react intensely to situations other children take in stride. Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions is an effective guide to de-escalating your child's emotions and helping your child express feelings in productive ways. You'll learn strategies drawn from dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), including mindfulness and validation skills, and practice them when your child's emotions spin out of control. This well-researched method for managing emotions can help your child make dramatic emotional and behavioral changes that both of you will be proud of.
I am the parent of five children. Four of them are able to manage their emotions and social interactions appropriately. This book has been extremely beneficial for me to more effectively parent my fifth child who struggles with intense anger and mood swings and who has difficulty maintaining friendships and making safe and healthy decisions. The parenting techniques I use for my other children don't work for this child. This book helps parents recognize when their child is in emotional distress; it teaches you how to help your child manage these overwhelming emotions and how to respond differently to behaviors you want to decrease. Other aspects of this book that I appreciate and recommend to other parents are the chapters on taking care of yourself and on how one child's emotional disregulation impacts the whole family. I have post-its throughout the book, and you will too!
In this very readable book, Harvey and Penzo give many practical suggestions for parents who are dealing with a child who has frequent intense emotional outbursts. They point out that a child's angry, explosive behaviors are the way he has learned to manage his feelings, and that he needs to be taught new skills. Expecting a child to know how to behave in all situations is unrealistic. He must be taught until he can use skills in all situations.
Just as the child needs new skills, this book teaches new skills to parents to help them more effectively help a child manage his emotions. The goal of the book is to help parents think and respond "wisely", incorporating both feelings and logic, when responding to the child's behavior.
The authors recommend that parents remind themselves that their child "is doing the best he can," and that they balance "acceptance of your child in the moment with expecting and helping him to do things better in the future." At the... read more
I am a mom of a 10 year old with mood disorder NOS. This book has helped me regain control in my life. Each chapter will help you understand your child and teach you to change the way you respond to emotional situations. Validating your child, using wise mind, taking time for yourself are ways DBT can make a difference. Parenting a Child Who Has Intense Emotions is a must read. It will reduce stress and change your life-it has changed mine!
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