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For family members of people with borderline personality disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, and suicidal tendencies—common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder—leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless.
In her pioneering first book Stop Walking on Eggshells, co-authored with Paul T. Mason, Randi Kreger outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with borderline personality disorder (BPD) relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, she takes readers to the next level, giving them straightforward tools to get off the emotional roller coaster and repair relationships with loved ones with BPD. Kreger answers the questions family members most want to ask about: the symptoms and treatment of BPD, including why BPD is so misdiagnosed; how symptoms can differ by age and gender; and how addiction and other disorders complicate BPD. She then outlines how families can set boundaries and communicate differently in order to help themselves and their loved ones cope with this bewildering form of mental illness.
Very few books can actually change your life. Randi Kreger has written two. "Stop Walking on Eggshells" (SWOE) changed my life and the lives of many others. "The Essential Family Guide" now offers the tools to family members and professionals to help deal with BPD with great efficiency and effectiveness.
"The Essential Family Guide" hits the nail directly on the head and drives it home. Where SWOE left off, the Family Guide picks up. It is critical reading for everyone - including counselors, psychologists, and legal professionals - living with or dealing with someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (a "BPD").
After reading through the first few chapters, I realized that "The Essential Family Guide" is the next step in my own recovery in dealing with my BPD ex-spouse and in caring for my children exposed to this disorder. If you are coping with a BPD - personally or professionally - you must read the Essential Family Guide.
I think of and... read more
I thought nothing could ever top the first book Randi Kreger co-wrote ("Stop Walking on Eggshells") but her newest book does it---I wish I could give ten stars instead of five. This seemingly simple book is one of the top five most useful books I've ever read in my life---I've already reread it twice, and will be reading it again in the years to come to help keep me in the right mental place. If you want to not only understand emotionally troubled people, but also do something concrete to help yourself, push the button and order this book right now.
There are so many powerful and easy-to-use tools provided in this book that it's tough to figure out which ones to mention in this review. They all give concrete answers to the seemingly unanswerable question that always arises whenever you're faced by a troubled personality--what do you do about it?
For example, I've always heard that you need to "set firm limits" with people who would overstep your boundaries... read more
My wife, I suspect, has BPD, and I read Randi's book, "Stop Walking on Eggshells", about a year and a half ago. I then participated in Randi's on-line support groups, and generally attempted to follow some of the advice in that book and on that site, without much success, frankly. This new book is helping me much more in understanding and empathizing with my wife, but I still think it doesn't quite get what is the most effective means for interacting with a borderline.
It's hard for me to explain the overarching problem I see with the book so I'll focus on one example. "Power tool #5: reinforcing right behavior" makes the point that, when a BP's traditional behavior does not get the reward they seek, they frantically repeat the behavior in an effort to get the reward (which Randi refers to as an *extinction burst*). My impression is that, for Randi, the "reward" is that the non complies with the borderline's desires, or accepts the abuse, or gets attention, and so... read more
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