10 Ways to Have a Hot Relationship

10 Ways to Have a Hot Relationship

No matter what state your love life might be in - still looking, just met, divorced, living together or
married, with or without children - having a hot relationship is possible for all of us.

First, a word of warning from relationship expert, Dr. Phil. The qualities that might have attracted
you to your partner initially, like tall, dark and handsome, won't necessarily ensure you'll enjoy a
hot relationship.

But, if you're ready to enjoy a fun and loving, intimate relationship in which your deep desires and
needs are being met, here are 10 tips to help you create your own hot relationship:

1. Still looking for Mr or Ms 100% Perfect?
If you are, then you're dreaming and wasting your time because your Mr or Ms 100% Perfect doesn't
exist. A better approach, suggested by relationship expert Dr Phil in his book Love Smart, is if you're
looking for a partner who'll have a realistic chance of being your ideal partner, look for one who has 80%
of the characteristics you want. What's equally important he suggests, is to be clear on what you
absolutely don't want or won't tolerate in a partner. He calls these deal breakers. If Mr of Ms Amazing
exhibits any traits, qualities or characteristics that go against your values and ideals, it doesn't matter
how cute you think they are, give them a miss, because they'll drive you out of your mind in no time at
all. Check out Dr.Phil's book Love Smart for some great exercises to help you work through this process.
2. Remember that finding your ideal partner is just the beginning!
Fairy tales that end in 'happily ever after' imply that just finding your prince or princess is the end of the
story and guarantees you an idyllic life. In reality, finding Mr or Ms Amazing is just the beginning. From
there, your relationship will continue to grow and change as will the circumstances of your life. Our
ability to understand that every relationship is a living organism will make it easier to accept times of
greater or lesser intimacy, for example when a parent dies or a child is born. Don't struggle against
changes. Continue to share your thoughts and feelings and to be supportive of one another. When you're
in a hot relationship, your partner will be there for you through thick and thin. Help them to support
you by letting them know what you want or need from them.
3. Does it feel right?
Tracey Cox, author of Hot Relationships, says that there are five key areas that appear to make or break
a relationship: chemistry, compatibility, common goals, pace and timing, and that couples who remain
blissfully bonded for life tend to connect in all five areas. She goes on to say, while chemistry alone won't
guarantee you'll enjoy a hot relationship, it's essential for a long-term happy liaison. If the
chemistry isn't there in the beginning, it's unlikely it will ever be there in the future. And, if you're not
sure if a potential relationship feels right, ask for guidance from your intuition. Scientists say that those
of us who rely on our gut instincts in relationship matters make much better decisions than those of
us who rely on rationality and cold facts.
For more coaching tips and strategies to help you achieve your goals and create and live the life you've always wanted
as well as information on one-to-one and group coaching to help you get there, visit www.blueskycoaching.com.au or contact
Tania by email on tania@blueskycoaching.com.au or by phone on (08) 8338 3134 or 0411 471 941.

t 8338 3134
m 0411 471 941
e tania@blueskycoaching.com.au
w www.blueskycoaching.com.au
Copyright © 2007 by Blue Sky Coaching.

---

4. Pillow Talk:
Make a regular date for some pillow talk. Crawl into bed together and talk openly with your lover. Spend
some wonderfully intimate time sharing your secrets, hopes and fears. You don't necessarily need to
crawl into bed to do this, though that's half the fun!
5. Be generous in expressing your love:
You can skimp on how much you pay for groceries or on how much you spend when you go out to
dinner, but don't skimp on expressing love towards your partner. It's free and can be done in so
many different ways, so make sure to do it every day. Eye contact, kisses and a genuine, loving
welcome home hug when your partner walks through the door take no time at all, but have a lasting
impact and will make your honey feel special.
6. Sacred time:
If you want a hot relationship, make spending time alone together one of your
highest priorities. Regularly carve out time in your busy schedule that's devoted solely to the two of you
as a couple and fill that time with something that nurtures a facet in your relationship. You can make it a
weekly ritual, like a walk at dawn, sharing a sunset or an afternoon between the sheets, but whatever you
choose to do, make it high priority and commit to it.
7. Surprise each other:
Put a little variety into your relationship by changing a routine from time to time. Even if you enjoy the
rhythm of your predictable, stable life it, can be very refreshing to have it shaken up and varied a bit. Go
out for a coffee together instead of having it at home or delight your partner by cleaning the house or
their car.
8. Playtime:
Balance out the seriousness of every day life by making time for some silly, childlike playfulness.
Anything goes as long as it makes you giggle, from a bubble bath for two to watching a comedy together,
to tickling matches or a home disco where you make up your own words to songs or funny dance
moves.
9. Time apart:
As much as you might love spending time together, it's also beneficial for you both to enjoy spending
time apart and to support each other in pursuing individual interests. Stepping away to enjoy your own
friends and interests gives you the opportunity to come back and share tales of your separate
adventures. Spending a day or a few apart can also feel very refreshing and create a sense of newness
when you come together again.
10. Share your dreams:
Encourage each other to visualize and verbalise your personal goals and dreams, including those around
your relationship and life together. Most of us are shy to admit to what we really want and hope for, so
offer your partner a safe, non-judgmental and trusting place in which to share. Respect and nurture your
loved one's dreams and whenever possible, work together on achieving your common goals and
dreams.

For more coaching tips and strategies to help you achieve your goals and create and live the life you've always wanted
as well as information on one-to-one and group coaching to help you get there, visit www.blueskycoaching.com.au or contact
Tania by email on tania@blueskycoaching.com.au or by phone on (08) 8338 3134 or 0411 471 941.

t 8338 3134
m 0411 471 941
e tania@blueskycoaching.com.au
w www.blueskycoaching.com.au
Copyright © 2007 by Blue Sky Coaching.

---