6 Sure-Fire Ways To Stop Feeling Jealous
Photo Credit: Niklas
Often we see things that others have and wish that we had the same. Or sometimes, if we
see somebody who is very happy, we feel a lack of happiness in our own life and feel
jealous of the other person. Jealousy is a very unhealthy, counterproductive feeling that
directly results in making us feel discontent and unsatisfied.
As jealousy is an emotional response and almost seems involuntary it feels like it is
something that cannot be fought. The biggest problem of a jealous person is that we
makes a lot of assumptions and don’t see the clear picture. In order to stop feeling
jealous, we need to make an effort to think clearly and rationally. The following are some
tips that can help in thinking straight and tempering jealous emotional responses:
1. Count Your Blessings:
In my school life, when I used to see one of my friends with a cool gadget and rant to my
mother about wanting the same, I was always told “Look at the people that have less than
you.” She would actually take names of specific people that we knew that did not even
have the basic necessities of life. This really worked for me because it made me realize
the difference between important things and un-important things. She would explain to
me that even though I don’t have some of the things I want, I am still more fortunate than
the vast majority of the people in this world.
It is the same way when we talk about achievements and success. When we look at
somebody’s success, we often forget about the things we have achieved in our life and
start feeling sad or negatively. A very good way to overcome this is to take a small piece
of paper and start making a list of different things we have achieved/acquired that a lot of
other people in this world have not. Even general things that we really take for granted,
like having a family, getting an education, having a car, being free, being independent,
having a soul-mate, being a cute kid, being grandma’s favorite, having best friends,
having a job e.t.c. would make us realize that we indeed have a lot of things in our life
that many people miss out on.
This will create a sense of gratification and will help us realize that we have a lot more
than we were thinking.
Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own. ~Harold
Everything comes as part of a package. If somebody has something that you don’t, you
also have a few things that they don’t. You will see that people who are very good at
maths, would often suck at creative things like painting pictures or playing a violin. We
all have some strengths and weaknesses, and the sooner we realize them, the better it
We often fail to recognize that a lot of things can only be achieved by sacrificing other
things. You cannot be a movie star without sacrificing your privacy, or be a supermodel
without compromising your diet. It is important to think through the things we would
have to give up, to get something else.
3. Take Inspiration:
Look around you and make a list of those people who would be genuinely happy when
you achieve something. Now, try to think and analyze their rational behind this. Every
one of them would have a different relationship to you but everyone would be truly
happy for you because they care about you. They understand that sharing your happiness
would make both of you happy and strengthen the relationship. Each one of them would
be a source of inspiration when you pause and think “how does this person not feel
jealous of me.” People like these are everywhere around us and there is no reason why
you won’t be able to do the same thing that they do.
4. They Have Worked Hard For It
Another perspective is to realize the fact that they must have worked really hard to get
what they have. How would you feel if at the peak of your career, people start feeling
jealous of you without realizing that you have spend countless years getting to that
position. It is always good to acknowledge others’ hard work and appreciate it so they do
the same for you when time comes.
5. This Is Not What You Want
Jealousy often makes us do things that we don’t really want in the first place. We are all
individuals with different needs and desires but we often forget this when we feel jealous.
For example, you see a friend of yours in a sports car and wish you had one too, not
realizing that what your family really needs is a mini van. We often start working towards
things out of sheer jealousy, but once we get them, we understand that they are not in line
with our goals and we have used our energy unwisely.
If you constantly feel jealous of a person, give them something nice. It can be anything
tangible or intangible that would make them really happy. After that, whenever you see
them being happy, you’ll realize that you have contributed to their overall happiness and
you will start feeling happy for them (and for for yourself).
Envy is a symptom of lack of appreciation of our own uniqueness and self worth. Each of
us has something to give that no one else has. ~Elizabeth O’Connor
Jealousy comes very easily, but fortunately is not hard to get rid off if we just stop and
think for a few seconds. As soon as we realize what we are doing, we will see that it is
not right nor fair to be unhappy for someone who is happy. It is really all about keeping
an open mind and a positive attitude about other people, and most importantly about
ourselves so we can challenge all these negative feelings in positive, productive