A Cause For Alarm

A Cause For Alarm.
By
Elliot Bobin
2011 Elliot Bobin

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INT. DAY. FRONT ROOM
Max is sitting on a beat up sofa flicking through TV
channels, surrounded by empty food and drink containers,
the air is filled with smoke. Max hits a bong, as he
exhales he starts coughing and puts the bong by the side
of the sofa.
Enter Ollie.
OLLIE
Fuck man it’s smokey in here.
Don’t you ever do anything
productive?
MAX
Fuck you man just this morning I
was rolling a joint while taking
a shit and reading the paper.
Multitasking nigga!
CUT TO
INT. DAY. BATHROOM
Max is is sitting on the toilet rolling a joint with a
news paper on the floor turning the pages with his toes.
CUT TO
INT. DAY. FRONT ROOM
OLLIE
Yeah well that’s not exaclty
gonna pay the rent is it?
MAX
Man, I told you, I’ll get you
your money when I sell some bags,
this stuffs just sitting there
getting peng man it’ll be flying
soon.
OLLIE
Fuckin’ Stoner.
Ollie shakes his head and walks into the kitchen.
OLLIE
What the hell is going on in
here!?
MAX
What?
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
2.
OLLIE
How about the shopping trolly?
MAX
Oh, that. Look where it’s from
man!
OLLIE
I dont care where it’s from
MAX
Just look man.
OLLIE
TKMaxx
MAX
Yup
OLLIE
Where is TKMaxx?
MAX
I dunno man, so it must be pretty
far away.
OLLIE
Well I’ll give you that
MAX
And it almost has my name on it.
Last night must have been abit of
a mad one man I’m sorry
OLLIE
Yeah but every time you go out
you seem to bring something
stolen home, we don’t need all
this shit!
There is a knock at the door.
MAX
Shotgun not getting it!
Max picks a joint out of the ashtray on the table in front
of him and lights it.
OLLIE
Fucks sake [mumbling under
breath] fuckin’ stoner.
Ollie leaves to room to go answer the door. Max leans back
on the sofa and looks through the hallway to see the
blurry outline of a police uniform through the frosted
glass of his front door. Max double takes in shock and
begins panicking.
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
3.
MAX
Shit man what the fuck?
Max drops the joint back in the ashtray and slides it
under the sofa. He stands up and looks around quickly, he
spies a bottle of fabreeze on the windowsille and goes to
grab it. As he moves towards it he kicks the bong over
spilling water over the floor.
MAX
Shit.
Max bends down and picks up the bong. As he grabs the bong
he imagines the bong is a lightsaber hilt.
CUT AWAY
INT. DAY. HALLWAY
Max is now standing in his hallway, the door bursts open
and the policeman is standing in the doorway, wearing a
black hooded robe over his uniform. Max is holding a green
lightsaber in his hand. The policeman ignites a red
lightsaber and lunges at Max.
CUT AWAY
INT. DAY. FRONT ROOM
Max is still holding the bong, he shakes his head and
steps in the water. Realizing what he has done he throws
the bong in the cubopard takes his socks off. Max looks
around for a towel but there is none. He reluctantly takes
off his gown and uses it to wipe up the water. Wet and
grimey he throws it in the cuboard.
Max picks up a fabreeze spray in each hand and starts
spraying them like guns.
CUT AWAY
INT. DAY. HALLWAY
Max is standing in the hallway once again, this time he is
in a leather trench coat and sunglasses, he is holding a
gun in each hand. The policeman is now in a suit and
sunglasses, but still wearing his hat and radio.
The policeman notices a ganja leaf design on Maxs’ hoodie
under the open trench coat.
POLICEMAN
[sniffing] Do I smell...
Marajuana?
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
4.
The police man draws a gun and shoots at Max.
Max looks down at his hoodie.
CUT AWAY
INT. DAY. FRONT ROOM
Max is looking at himself in the mirror stareing the leaf
on his hoodie.
MAX
Shit!
Max pulls the hoodie off quickly and throws in the the
same cuboard as the gown. Under the hoodie Max is wearing
an Amsterdam t-shirt.
MAX
Are you kidding me?
Max takes off the t-shirt and is left just in his
underwear.
Max stops the trolly in the kitchen, he grabs the handle
and pushes it out the back door into his garden. The
Garden is full of random stolen things Max has brought
home in the past, he bundles them all into the trolly and
attempts to cover it in rubbish. He then runs back inside.
The door closes and Max hears two voices heading through
the hallway. Panicking Max climbs in the cuboard and
closes the door on himself. The cuboard is small and
cramped he has to stand on top of a chest freezer to fit
comfotabley where he has put all his clothes and bong. He
grasps the bong in both hands and peers through the slits
in the door.
Ollie enters the front room followed by the policeman.
OLLIE
Well, he was in here... MAX!?
Max grits his teeth trying not to make a sound.
OLLIE
Fuck it man he’ll appear, you
want a beer?
POLICEMAN
Yeah man that’d be great.
Max looks confussed. Ollie opens the door of the cuboard
to get to the freezer, only to find a near naked Max
perched on top of the freezer holding his bong.
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
5.
OLLIE
what, the actual, fuck Max?
MAX
The copper man! What the fuck
with that you cant bring him in
here man!
OLLIE
No you bellend this is Frank,
he’s my boy, he wanted to get
some weed from you?
MAX
You know a dodgey cop? Shit man
why didnt you say!?
OLLIE
Nah man, we’re just going to that
costume party tonight.
MAX
[Sighing] Thank fuck for that
man, I thought I doomed there
man.
OLLIE
So? You gonna get out the cuboard
and sell some drugs?
Max climbs out the cuboard
MAX
Yeah man, yeah... yeah
Max pulls the ashtray from under the sofa and lights his
joint. He sighs releaved and falls back into the sofa,
picks up the remote and starts flicking channels again.
OLLIE
Max!
MAX
What?... Ah shit yeah yeah.
Max gets up and leaves the room and goes upstairs
OLLIE
Fuckin’ stoner.

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