Drakkos D. Drakkos (1928 - ?) was born in Dufftown, Scotland. Educated at the prestigious
MacMacCloud Institute of Applied Acumen, he developed an interest in literature and
poetry. At the age of seventeen, Drakkos submitted an initial portfolio to the University of
Dundee that included several examples of his poetic style. However, these were met with
harsh criticism from the presiding professors; Drakkos dream of being a famous writer and
poet, akin to the likes of Walter Scott and Robert Burns, came to an immediate end.
It was at the age of eighteen that Drakkos turned his attention to the thriving computer
sciences; the technological advances of 1943 (specifically the creation of the Electronic
Numerical Integrator and Computer calculator) garnered significant interest. His expertise
and love of the poetics entwined with his learnt computing skills, and, on 23 March 1944,
Drakkos published his first paper concerning the poetic qualities of numerical code. It
received moderate success within the universities of Scotland but made little impact on the
greater academic world.
Realising that the academic profession was best suited for people with actual literary talent,
Drakkos resigned from his studies and eloped to Germany. It was here that Drakkos became
acquainted with the Vice-Chancellor of Germany, Lieutenant-Colonel Franz Joseph Hermann
Michael Maria von Papen zu Koningen. On 29 April 1945, and after several months of
friendship, Colonel Franz introduced Drakkos to the Chancellor of Germany, Adolf Hitler.
Drakkos, in the Mojo Diaries, reflected deeply upon the chance meeting: "This period of my
life was enthralling; never had I met a man of such inspiration. I feel as though my eyes have
been opened; as though I am now able to speak and communicate better, debate better,
understand better. It was truly a marvellous experience."
Drakkos D. Drakkos during his encounter with Adolf Hitler
However, the secret diaries of Adolf Hitler reveal a more horrific encounter: "Never before,"
wrote Hitler, "have I encountered a man as vile as Drakkos D. Drakkos. He is a man of
insignificant intelligence... he spent our time doing nothing but reciting his amateur poetry... I
wish I was dead."
Within days, the Nazi party collapsed and Drakkos was forced to flee the country. Twelve
days later, he found himself in his adopted homeland of London. Entries in the Mojo Diaries,
on 5 May 1945, reveal Drakkos initial reaction to the Londoners: "These are a quaint people
with exotic customs. Most seem to be lazy, though there are a few that could be considered of
somewhat grand importance." During this period, on an unspecified date, a picture of
Drakkos D. Drakkos appeared in the local London newspaper (They Daily Mail). During a
routine walk throughout the streets of London, Drakkos had inadvertently found his way into
a photo with Winston Churchill.
Drakkos D. Drakkos inadvertently wanders into the background of a photograph
"Of course I would have liked to have met him," Drakkos later recalled, "but at the time I
wasnt aware of his presence. I was simply waiting with a bunch of people to cross the road."
The next twenty years passed relatively quickly. Drakkos returned to his native Scotland and,
determined to make something out of his existence, enrolled with the Scottish Police
Academy. It was during this period that Drakkos, under the tutorage of the Scottish Police
Academy, was identified as having the requisites required for special undercover training.
Another several years of intensive training followed, ultimately accumulating in the
attainment of Valedictorian upon graduation from the Special Undercover Training Scottish
Drakkos first assignment was intended to be of a relatively low profile. Stationed in Texas,
United States of America, Drakkos was to assist the local police during a visit from the
American President (John F. Kennedy). Given the handpicked training that Drakkos had
undertaken, he was assigned the fictitious identity of a local police detective (J. R. Leavelle)
and ordered to assume a regular patrol. "I thought it was going to be a simple assignment,"
Drakkos later wrote in the Mojo Diaries, clearly disturbed by the events that had transpired.
On 24 November 1963, two days after the public assassination of John F. Kennedy, Drakkos
(under the guise of Detective J. R. Leavelle) was ordered to appear at the Dallas Police
Headquarters. Drakkos would later speak of this event, often outspokenly, as an unusual
instance; international agents were very rarely (if ever) handcuffed to suspected criminals.
Nevertheless, at 11.21 a.m. on the 24 November 1963, Drakkos exited the Dallas Police
Headquarters handcuffed to the suspected murderer Lee Harvey Oswald.
Mojo Diaries: "I had just finished my early morning lunch when I accidently spilt several
ounces of white liquid on my black uniform. I went into the toilets and changed into my spare
set of clothes; a white suit with black tie. Then I was lead to the holding cells, handcuffed to
Oswald, and, within minutes, we were outside. And thats when it all happened. And it
happened fast. A loud shot, maybe two, deafened my ears; I felt Oswald collapse next to me.
My face was frozen in horror; a sort of crazed laughter took over me."
Drakkos D. Drakkos under the guise of Detective J. R. Leavelle
Difficult times followed. Emotionally and mentally scarred from the Oswald shooting,
Drakkos retired from the Police Force but retained residency within the United States of
America. He became a recluse, spending unending weeks within the confines of his Miami
home, using his shelter as a means to recede mentally, and physically, from the surrounding
world. For several hours a day, Drakkos would train physically; his body became his only
In recent years, Drakkos has openly spoken of the reclusive period of his live. "My body... It
became my only care," he told Whoopi Goldberg on The View, "I would train every day. I
thought I was crafting my muscles, my body, and my image." Drakkos would later write, in
the privacy of the Mojo Diaries, that The View provided the ample environment to discuss
his strength training.
Drakkos D. Drakkos appears on The View in 2010
In his interview on The View, Drakkos revealed a previously unseen photograph of his
physique at the height of his training. It shocked many, but none more than Drakkos himself.
"I havent seen this picture," he told Whoopi, "for several decades. Its something that Ive
ignored... Ive repressed it so I dont have to think about it. Suffice to say I thought I had
certain pulchritude." It was a moment that proved cleansing for Drakkos: he accepted his past
and realised that he was but a simple man who erred frequently.
Within days of the broadcast, several charities established a Weight Training Awareness
(WTA) department. The primary goal, as defined by Drakkos, is to assist in the reduction of
weight training amongst youths. At the publication of this biography, they have raised over
US$366,000,000 for WTA.
Drakkos D. Drakkos during his reclusive years (1965); he owes his physique to intense
By 1969, Drakkos obsession with strength training had subsided. He had remained hidden
from the public gaze for nearly six years. Despite the duration of his self-inflicted captivated,
Drakkos continued to refine the training he had received at the Scottish Police Academy:
"Sometimes I wonder," he wrote in the Mojo Diaries, "whether pumping weights is in my
best interest. There has to be something more... Maybe I should give the police force a second
chance..." On 13 July 1969, Drakkos finally left his Miami home. It had been five years,
seven months and twenty-one days since the assassination of Oswald.
Historical records suggest that by 15 July 1969, Drakkos had assumed a new undercover
identity within the Florida police department. He was assigned to the Apollo 11 mission as an
undercover agent whose primary task was to prevent alien incursion. This period of Drakkos
life is poorly documented, leading to several theories behind his appointment to an Apollo
mission so soon after reclusive episode. The forerunner, published in 1982 by academic
Professor David Ploop, hints that the intensive training undertaken by Drakkos during the
reclusive years might have contributed to his selection for the Apollo mission. He was
assigned the identity of an American astronaut, Michael Collins, and given faux command of
the lunar module.
Drakkos D. Drakkos under the guise of Michael Collins; Apollo 11 photograph (1969)
On July 20 1969, Drakkos (disguised as Michael Collins) entered the orbit of the earths
natural satellite. "It was amazing," he would later write, "the entire lunar surface glistened
with a white aura... there was something pure about it. Of course, I was just there to defend
Buzz and Neil from aliens, but the beauty of the planet was breathtaking." Several days later,
Drakkos (along with the Apollo 11 crew) returned to earth; his second undercover mission
had been a success.
Drakkos D. Drakkos in quarantine after returning to Earth; Richard Nixon visits
For the next thirty-two years, Drakkos served as an undercover agent with various police
agencies around the world. His actions during this period remain classified, but an entry into
the Mojo Diary on 19 March 2001 revealed his growing discontent: "Ive given my life to the
police and yet Ive done nothing to rival my 1969 assignment. Its just drugs and murders;
never anything exciting. I long for greater things." Several days later, on 31 March 2001,
Drakkos retired from the police force as a highly decorated police officer (having been
awarded the Police Medal for Distinguished Service). Drakkos would later comment that the
decision to retire from the Police Force was the correct decision.
During the next few months, Drakkos would wander throughout North America in search of a
suitable occupation. But the events that transpired over a single day would provide Drakkos
with the direction he so desperately sought. On 11 September 2001, Drakkos was attending a
software meeting at a Windows of the World venue on the 107th floor of the North Tower of
the World Trade Center. The meeting was scheduled to begin at 8:30 a.m. (which, according
to the Mojo Diaries, it did) and would last for several hours. The sign-in logs of the software
event reveal that Drakkos arrived at the North Tower at exactly 8:17 a.m. and, within minutes
(at 8:22 a.m.) reached the Windows of the World Venue. The software meeting commenced
soon after Drakkos arrival.
Several months later, Drakkos wrote an entry into the Mojo Diaries describing the
occurrence: "Everything seemed pretty normal. We entered the venue, took our seats, and the
meeting began as planned... But fifteen minutes into it, I felt a tremendous thud; it was as
though the entire building was shaking. A few seconds later, dense black smoke billowed into
the room. People were screaming and yelling. Someone said that the building was on fire. We
exited the room, walking crab-like to avoid the black smoke. My friend, Brian Clark, insisted
that we descend down the stairs. I, and several others, disagreed; we decided that accessing
the roof would provide a greater chance of rescue. We left Brian and began our ascent."
"We reached the hatch and forced our way onto the roof. It was completely shrouded in fast-
rising smoke. We quickly realised that no helicopter would be able to reach our location. An
elderly lady, unknown to me save for the fact that she had attended the Software meeting,
began to weep. Someone suggested that we should go back down the staircase. But by now,
dense smoke had coveted the entire interior of the tower; it was impossible to enter the
staircase. Our only hope was a leap of faith. We knew we wouldnt survive."
Drakkos D. Drakkos escapes the World Trade Center (Richard Drew)
A day after the events of 11 September 2001, a photograph (taken by Richard Drew)
emerged. It depicted Drakkos fall from the roof of the North Tower. It would become known
as The Falling Man photograph. "I was astonished to see the photo," Drakkos wrote in a
letter to Drew, "I was only thinking of survival; I didnt expect anyone to notice what I
thought would be my last few moments. Of course, Im glad it was taken... I think it
epitomises the hopelessness that I felt."
But Drakkos was lucky. He was the sole survivor of that small roof group. Rather than hitting
hard concrete, Drakkos managed to direct his tumbling body onto a truck carrying several
mattresses. "It was a one in a billion," he reflected in the Mojo Diaries. Drakkos sustained
minor injuries, making a full physical recovery from the events on 11 September 2001.
The events of that fateful day awakened a new desire in Drakkos. The publication of The
Falling Man photo, and the media attention surrounding his survival, began to go to his head.
Drakkos had always had a big head, but now it had exploded with the sweet ooze of egotism.
It became unbearable to many of his friends.
Drakkos realised that surviving the North Tower would provide only brief celebrity. His fame
was fleeting; soon he would be forgotten amongst the public. Thus, the incident at North
Tower drove Drakkos to seek constant approval from the public and his peers. And to satisfy
this desire, he turned to acting.
The first real break came from Jerome Leon Bruckheimer. In late 2006, Bruckheimer
contacted Drakkos with an offer: appear, pro bono, in Brucheimers upcoming Pirates of the
Caribbean: At World's End. Drakkos accepted, realising that this could be his first step into
Hollywood. And so, in early 2007, Drakkos filmed his scene for the upcoming film.
Drakkos D. Drakkos in Pirates of the Caribbean
It was critically acclaimed, and met with universal public success. Roger Ebert, in The
Chicago Times weekly review, praised Drakkos acting talent: "Drakkos D. Drakkos acting
Pirates of the Caribbean is surely one of the most exquisitely controlled performances in
recent movies. Without it, the film could be unwatchable. With it, I can't take my eyes away.
Not for a second, not for a frame, does his focus relax, and yet it seems effortless. It's
sometimes said of an actor that we can't see him acting. I can't even see him not acting." A
few months later, Drakkos was nominated for an Oscar: Best Supporting Actor for his
He won. And he received the Oscar to a standing ovation; his peers, colleagues and fans had
embraced him as one of the greatest Hollywood actors.
Drakkos D. Drakkos displaying his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor
By now, Drakkos had fame. But he still desired power. On July 3 2008, Drakkos announced
his retirement from cinema to pursue his interests in the political sphere. "I felt that there
were still things I could accomplish. But I could only accomplish them politically... I wanted
to return home and lead my native people..." After nearly forty-five years of absence,
Drakkos returned to his native homeland and began campaigning for local parliament seats.
In early 2009, Drakkos successfully won the local Scottish seat of Dundee. His local rise to
power has often been subject to analysis by world-leading professors in political
anthropology; it is often attributed to the vast worldly experiences that became known
through Drakkos during his election campaign, and on which this biography is based. After
his election, Drakkos instigated sweeping reforms throughout Dundee that garnered his
political career global attention.
The climax of Drakkos political career was the G-20 summit in London. On 2 April 2009,
Drakkos gained international popularity amongst his political peers when he announced, and
introduced, Scotlands regulations to combat climate control. It was during the summit that
Drakkos formed a closed bond with American President Barack Obama; a friendship that
remains to this day.
Drakkos D. Drakkos at the G-20 with other world leaders
But the political career of Drakkos was about to end. In late 2009, rumours surfaced that an
illicit affair was being conducted. An inquiry was launched by the Royal Scottish
Commission, and it was found that he had partaken in various sexual acts during his visits to
the locate country of Cauldron. In exchange for sex, Drakkos had shown bias to the small
county; gifts of public money flowed into the region under his governance. As soon as these
results were made public, Drakkos was forced to abdicate his position as member of local
Thus Drakkos returned once more to his initial interests of poetry and coding. In 2011, he
revealed his plan to unveil a new game, titled Epitaph, and hoped that it would once more
draw attention to his existence.