Community - Intro to Child Psychology

Community: Intro To Child Psychology
By
Emily Knight

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INT. STUDY ROOM - MORNING (COLD OPENING)
JEFF, BRITTA, ABED, TROY, ANNIE, and SHIRLEY are sitting at
the table, chatting. Britta's TOTEROLA CELL PHONE rings, and
she answers.
BRITTA
Hello? (in a professional voice)
Yes, this is Britta Perry.
Britta continues talking on her phone, occasionally giving
short responses like 'yes' and 'that's fine.'
PIERCE enters the room and slaps a CITATION on the table.
PIERCE
That damn Jap wrote me up again!
ANNIE
(appalled)
Pierce!
JEFF
Ah, there's nothing like a good
Pierce Hawthrone racial slur in the
morning.
TROY
Is this because you kicked over an
ash tray in front of his golf cart
while yelling 'this is sparta!'
again?
PIERCE
No! ...yes.
JEFF
(pointing to Abed)
Okay, you're forbidden from showing
any more action movies to Pierce.
Suddenly Britta hurtles her cell phone into a window,
breaking a whole through it.
BRITTA
Bitch!
JEFF
So your phone is actually
multi-functional!
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
2.
BRITTA
(bitterly)
Ha. Ha.
Britta puts her head on the table.
BRITTA
I'm doomed.
SHIRLEY
What's wrong, Britta?
BRITTA
I was supposed to do an internship
this week with this child
psychologist, and she just canceled
on me. It's a requirement for my
class.
JEFF
(laughing)
Oh, man, Britta with kids?!
ANNIE
Oh, no! Did she say why?
BRITTA
Some crap about her mom's funeral
or something, I don't know. And
I'll have you know, Jeff, that I am
very good with kids, thank you very
much.
ABED
It's okay, Britta. I saw my fair
share of child psychologists
growing up and they don't seem to
do much anyways. Movies and TV did
much more.
TROY
(to Abed)
Spider-Man one and two tonight?
ANNIE
No three?
Troy and Abed both give her the stink eye.
TROY
Do not speak that movie's name in
front of us.
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
3.
Abed gives him a knowing nod and they do some kind of hand
motions across the table in agreement.
SHIRLEY
Britta, I know the school counselor
at my boys' elementary school
pretty well. Would you like me to
see if she's in need of an intern?
BRITTA
That would be so awesome of you,
Shirley.
PIERCE
(to Troy and Abed)
You fellows mind if I join-
JEFF
Oh, god, I can just see it now.
Pierce running around campus in a
red spandex onesie.
The whole group sits for a moment to digest that. They all
gasp in disgust as they get a mental image.
PIERCE
So is that a-
EVERYONE
No!
(END COLD OPENING)

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