At least it's better than the Bob Morrison Show
INT. OFFICE - MORNING
NICK, ERIC AND PENNY ARE HUDDLED AROUND NICK'S DESK TALKING
QUIETLY AS THE OFFICE WORKS AT A FAST PACE AROUND THEM. THEY
HAVE WORRIED LOOKS ON THEIR FACES.
What are you going to say to her?
I still don't know
Listen, you've got to come up with
something or you're finished. You
heard what she said, anyone who
isn't pulling their weight is out
and you don't even know what your
Around here that might give him an
Exactly, you can't fail to meet your
objectives when you don't have any.
I heard she's doing it at random to
keep people on their toes.
The mad old cow.
She's not really that old.
ERIC GLARES AT NICK. HE REALISES WHAT HE'S JUST SAID.
Maybe I should just go home and stay
there until all this blows over.
Yeah that'll really help. Pretend
it's not happening. And if she never
actually tells you that you're
sacked it didn't happen. Then you
can keep showing up and sitting here
without getting paid until you're
old enough to get the pension. Great
Well, what am I supposed to say?
I've got nothing. I hope I'm first
so I can at least have the rest of
the day off. Besides, what makes you
think that you're so indispensible?
Because I'm full of good ideas.
Everything I touch turns to gold.
Except your marriage.
And my business, yes. But in
political circles I'm very well
known for my innovative ideas.
Well come up with some good ideas
for keeping me in a job then.
Come on, be positive.
Why should break the habit of a
You're not done yet. For once in
your life try and think that
something good is going to happen.
You don't even know what's she's
here to do yet do you?
Well they didn't hire her to sing
Christmas carols and organise the
office Twister championships. She's
here to cut the dead wood and..
HE SUDDENLY STOPS AND REALISES WHAT HE'S SAID.
NICK THROWS HIS HANDS UP IN THE AIR IN DESPAIR
HE PUTS HIS HEAD DOWN ON THE DESK AS FEMALE EMPLOYEE WALKS
INTO THE CUBICLE PANICKING AND WITH A WORRIED LOOK ON HER
Have any of you seen a small green
folder with Tasmania written on it?
I've never even been there.
NICK PUTS HIS HANDS UP FROM THE DESK TO INDICATE "NO" WITHOUT
LOOKING UP. SUE RUNS OFF
I've never seen people working this
hard. Haven't they seen the polls,
we're going to win this election by
How can you be so sure?
Have you see what we're against?
Who's voting for that lot? Alex
Steele has so little personality
that he is often confused for a
washing machine. Reynard might not
be in his prime, but if he can't
beat Mr. Potato Head we'd may as
well all give up. So, what's the
deal with this Stella bird anyway?
I've been told 50 times that she's
like this with Hillary Clinton, but
Apparently speaks eight languages.
Well that's pointless. There aren't
eight languages worth speaking.
From what I've heard she's very
Well what's she working here for
TWO WORKERS FLY BY QUICKLY TUGGING AT THE SAME PIECE OF
PAPER AND ISSUING RANDOM THREATS TO EACH OTHER
Look at these idiots
At least they've got something to do
to keep themselves busy. I'm sitting
here on Death Row without any way to
save myself. In fact if you look at
it objectively I'm completely fu..
STELLA INTERRUPTS BY STANDING AT HER OFFICE DOOR, SMOKING A
CIGARETTE AND YELLING.
Foster. Eric Foster.
Yes! I get to go in first, make you
guys look good and save myself while
also burying some of these other
PENNY GLARES AT HIM
Don't worry, you're one of the few
people here who I would save given
HE STANDS UP AND WALKS TOWARDS THE OFFICE
Well she's not doing it by last
Or first names. I can't handle this.
How can you direct a campaign when
you can't even organise yourself?
Anyway, I better get back to it. If
she's sees me out here talking to
you all day she'll have me hung.
I just wish I knew what was going on
Don't worry about him, he'll go
I suppose, if there's anyone who's
not going to fall apart under
pressure it's him.
INT. STELLA'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER
STELLA SITS BEHIND HER DESK GLARING AT ERIC WITH A
CIGARETTE IN HER HAND. HE IS SWEATING AND TALKING
NERVOUSLY, RARELY TAKING A BREATH.
So, anyway it's really good that
you've come here. I've been here so
long I can see we really needed
somebody to come and shake things
Well, you know what I mean. Not that
long. Long enough.
HE LEANS ACROSS THE DESK CONSPIRATORIALLY
You know, if you really want to chop
some of the dead wood you should
start up in Sydney. There's this
bloke there called Pete Allen.
Between you and me I've heard he's a
TAPS HIS HEAD TO INDICATE `CRAZY'. HE STOPS AS IF WAITING
FOR STELLA TO SAY SOMETHING BUT SHE STAYS QUIET AND AFTER A
FEW SECONDS OF UNCOMFORTABLE SILENCE HE SPEAKS AGAIN
Yeah. So. Anyway. There's a lot of
good people here.