Does He Really Love MIem Aagiftene tr Bhe feiollngow Uinng fsacithenarfiuo:l? A woman is
desperately trying to deal with her husband's
affair after her husband had cheated on her for
only a few months last year. Her husband says
he still loves her and never really stopped
loving her, even while he was cheating.
She really wants to believe that what he was
saying is true, but she just can't. How can she
believe him if she can't trust him? How does
she know if her husband still loves her after cheating on? I'll address that and more
His Actions Are Not an Indication of His True Feelings
This is a bone of contention with most readers. But let me try and explain why having an
affair doesn't mean that you don't love your spouse. I realize a lot of people don't agree
on this one but I believe that infidelity does not mean that the cheater doesn't love his
For example a man might be totally faithful to his wife but beat her senseless behind
closed doors. Are we to assume then that since he didn't cheat on her that he loves her
When given the chance to explain and clarify their feelings after the affair, most
cheaters will acknowledge their mistake but at the same time admit they never fell out of
love with their spouse.
In most cases they will tell you that the affair happened not out of lust but out of their
own insecurities. But the victim here thinks differently. They often believe that the
cheater is just saying this to make them feel better. But I believe them and I'll tell you
Firstly, you'll see through their insincerity. If the cheater has made their life transparent
and has nothing to hide then their actions will follow suit. The second indicator that a
cheater is sincere and wants to change their ways after the affair is evident in the fact
that they have cut off all contact with the other woman.
Conversely, on a slightly different note, family therapists and research experts have
noted that affairs are generally triggered by stressful situations in people's lives, leading
them to feel vulnerable and unsure of themselves.
Don't misunderstand me here I'm not defending what he did. Feeling insecure about
your self is no excuse to cheat. Many men struggle with similar issues and manage to
stay faithful to their wives. But it's important to know that they have chosen this path
because of personal issues, not because they don't love their wives.
How Do Do
I es H
s r B
r M U
One of the most common questions women have after the affair is this: "How can I be
certain he's still in love with me?" How can I believe a single thing he's said when he's
already lied to me?" The answer to this is founded in his actions, not his words. As
mentioned before, look at his behavior towards you.
Now before I list the actions you need to look for from your man, let me start by saying
that just because you don't see every single one of these doesn't mean he doesn't love
It's possible your man could be feeling sheepish and defensive at the moment and
doesn't know quite what to do next. Try telling him exactly what you expect from him. In
many cases, cheaters want to make things right in the relationship after the affair, but
they don't what their spouse needs or how to give it to them.
Cheaters have feelings too, so one thing you want to look for is if they're remorseful for
their actions. How he displays this remorse might vary from man to man. Maybe he
doesn't spend all day apologizing or begging for forgiveness.
However, his actions after the affair should show you that he's disappointed with himself
and he may even be scared at the prospect of losing you. Maybe he slumps his
shoulders and looks worn and drawn out. He may look angry, but he's not angry with
you, he's angry with himself and his foolish decisions. Women incorrectly assume that
this anger is directed at them, but it's not.
The next thing the cheater should do after the affair is ask his wife for specific things he
can do to reassure her. He might even try and display physical affection towards her.
However, a lot of men will have a hard time with this because they are worried that the
last thing you want is physical attention.
Most cheating men assume that the very sight of them repulses their wives. However,
this shouldn't come as a shock after an affair. However, what they're really doing is
getting a feel for things so they have an idea of what to do next.
The Bottom Line
The best way to know if your husband still loves you after his affair is the fact that he's
still with you; and when the dust settles that's what counts - that he's still present.
This doesn't mean you drive him away to see if he'll stay with you. Be true to yourself
and your feelings and act accordingly. Maybe your husband doesn't show every
behavior he should towards you or perhaps you're not getting what you think you need
or want at the moment from him.
If you're not, don't be afraid to tell him and give him the opportunity to show you he
Now that y
Doou unesder Hstae Rend hallyow y Lourove hus Meban Ad tfhitenkr Bs afteiern tgh Ue anfffaiar,ith lefarul? n how you can
know when it's time to start trusting your spouse again. Click here.