:
Fight Or Flight: How To
Overcome Your Fear Of
Approaching Women


Marius Panzarella
© 2005, All Rights Reserved



It is illegal to copy, steal, or distribute all or any part of this book or web page without the author’s permission.
By purchasing this book, you agree to the following: You understand that the information presented contained
on this book is for personal entertainment purpose only. It is not to be considered legal or personal advice. The
author is not responsible for any actions or results from the use of this book.


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women



How To Cure Your Fear Of Approaching
Women

Normal fear protects us; abnormal fear paralyses us.
Normal fear motivates us to improve our individual and collective welfare;
Abnormal fear constantly poisons and distorts our inner lives.
Our problem is not to be rid of fear but, rather to harness and master it.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.


In this latest report, I am going to show you some
ways to cure your fear of approaching women.


Before we go any further, I would first like to point out
that there is NOTHING wrong with feeling fear. One of the
biggest misconceptions some of my readers have is that
they are “not normal” because they feel nervous all the time
– as if there’s anything wrong with feeling afraid! Remember:
To feel fear is to simply be human. It does not make you any
less of a man or any less of a Smart Dater! In fact, fear can
save your butt in certain situations – such as stopping you
from jumping off a cliff like an idiot.


Therefore, the purpose of this report is not to help you
eliminate fear, but to help you confront and control it.

A boxing champion has once said that he always
wakes up afraid in the morning of a tournament. But as he
states brilliantly, the difference between a champion and a
loser is that the champion gets into the ring IN SPITE OF
HIS FEAR.

The loser just quits.


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

So today…rather than just teaching you how to
repress you fear like a Vulcan when approaching women, I
am going to show you how to understand and confront it.

Let’s begin by looking at what causes fear in our
brains.


What Is Fear?


Fear is an emotion, just like anger, greed, lust, and
jealousy. In fact, it even comes from the same part of the
brain – an almond shaped structure in the temporal lobe
called the “limbic brain”.
The limbic system is primarily responsible for our
emotions as well as the formation of memories. (You’ll see
how the two relates in a few minutes.) It includes the
hypothalamus, the hippocampus, the amygdale, and the
pituitary gland.
The hypothalamus regulates the functioning of your
autonomic nervous system, which in turn controls your body,
including your blood pressure, heartbeat, sweating, and
breathing. It also affects your hormonal level by controlling
your pituitary gland. Think of it as an automatic thermostat
that guards your body twenty-four hours a day.
The hippocampus converts your short term memory
into long-term memory for storage.
The amygdale deals with emotions such as fear,
anger, and lust.

What Happens When You Fear?

Whenever you see or experience something that is
potentially dangerous (from a beautiful woman to a gun
pointed at you), your limbic system will kick into high gear. It
will weigh the potential outcomes of the situation and
prepare you for action by activating your “fight or flight”
response.

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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

This is achieved by activating your autonomic nervous
system, which will prepare your body for “fight or flight” by
doing things such as:
- Stimulating your sweat glands.
- Increasing your heart rate.
- Opening your eyelids.
- Releasing
adrenalin.
- Dilating and constricting various muscles.
- Making you breathe faster.
(And all the other things that you do when you feel
fear in front of a woman!)

The Problem With Your Limbic System (And Why It Makes You
Fear Women…)


The problem with the human brain’s limbic system is
that it is very primitive and not very discriminatory. Unlike
other areas of your brain, your limbic system cannot
distinguish between something that is imagined and
something that is real. This is why you may fear hot
women, even though there is no apparent physical danger.

Everything that you fear about approaching
women is based on your imagination and past
memories!


Hence, when it comes to dating, most of your fear is
either anticipatory or reflective. This means that when fear
is present (such as when you’re about to walk up to a
beautiful woman), you’re either thinking back to past events
or thinking ahead to potential outcomes of some future
event. Either way, you’re using your own imagination to
create fear.


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

So Why Do We Fear Women?


So why do we fear women if they are not dangerous?
To answer this question, we must break down the concept of
fear into three philosophical kinds of instinctual fears: fear of
loss, fear of pain, and fear of the unknown.
Any other fear experiences will ALWAYS fall under
one of these instinctual fears, including the greatest fear of
all – death.

For example, let’s say you’re an innocent inmate on
the death row awaiting execution by a firing squad. As your
execution date creeps nearer and nearer, you’re going to be:
1) Afraid of the pain you will feel when the bullets hit
your body. (Fear of pain.)
2) Afraid of losing your identity and dignity when you
die. Not only will you lose your identity when you
die, you’re also going to lose your dignity because
you’ll never get another chance to prove your
innocence! (Fear of loss.)
3) Afraid of the unknown. Is this really the end? What
if there’s no heaven or afterlife? Does this mean
you’re just going to be…gone? (Fear of the
unknown.)
Similarly, your fear of approaching women is based
on the same three instinctual fears.
When you approach a hot woman, you’re going to be:
1)
Afraid of the pain you will feel when you are
rejected or humiliated by the woman.
(Even worse…in front of a crowd!)
2) Afraid
of
losing your only chance with this
woman. If you blow it, it’s over!
3)
Afraid of not knowing what will happen
when you walk up to her. Will she laugh at
you? Will she brush you off rudely? Will she
tell all her friends about your silly feelings?

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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women

But here’s the good news. Once you know how to
break down your fear of approaching women into these three
instinctive fears, you can find ways to keep them under
control.

How To Deal With Your Fear Of Pain When Approaching Women

Technique #1: Understand That Your Pain Is Internal…and Irrelevant!


You know how whenever you get rejected by a
woman, you feel like the whole world is going to know she
doesn’t think you’re good enough for her?

Humans are natural approval-seekers. We seek
approval from friends, family, and just about everybody in
this world. And this is why it hurts so much when a woman
rejects us.



But here’s the hard truth about rejection: nobody
really cares.


Think about it…the last time your best friend crashed
and burned with a woman, did you really care?


Heck…the last time your worst enemy got rejected or
dumped by a woman, did you really care, other than giving
him a quick “haha”?


Here’s a golden rule to remember: Most people don’t
care about your success or failure …because they are too
busy worrying about their own failure!


Technique #2: Outframe Your Rejections


Remember that most women are NOT going to turn
you down in a bitchy way. And if they do…you should be
HAPPY, because they are really giving YOU a chance to put
THEM down.

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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women



For example, if a woman is cold to you, don’t
whimper. Act like you were NEVER interested in them. Act
like you just wanted to be nice because they’re the lonely
ones. Shoot them a disappointed look and say something
like, “You know…where I came from, proper social manners
and etiquette is a must. Too bad your mother never taught
you how to behave socially.”

Technique #3: Get Used To It


As they say in the military, “Pain is a sign of
weakness leaving the body”. We all get hurt one way or
another…but we eventually grow accustomed to it.


The first time you go to a gym, your whole body is
going to be in a lot of pain. But once you’ve worked out for a
couple of weeks, it’s not going to hurt as much anymore.


Your mind works the same. The less you approach
women, the more of a deal it will be if you get a rejection.

How To Deal With Your Fear Of Loss When Approaching Women

Technique #4: Compare Risk With Reward


Something good to do when you’re uncertain about
approaching a woman is to compare the risk with the
possible reward.


Here’s a little bit of “Panzarella Probability”. It’s not as
fancy or complicated as Non-Euclidian Physics, but it does
serve its purpose in the dating game.


Whenever you approach a woman, she either goes
for you or she doesn’t. In other words, you have an at least
50 percent chance of success. (This is a nice way of looking
at things, isn’t it?)


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women


But if you do NOTHING, then your chances of
success will be 0 percent for sure.


Listen: You are not dating her now. There’s
NOTHING for you to risk losing at all. So just go up to her
and work your charm. There is NOTHING to lose and
EVERYTHING to gain.


Technique #5: Focus On The Learning Process


Many guys fear getting rejected or losing a girl
because they worry way too much about their results.


Instead of worrying about getting the girl, I want you
to worry about IMPROVING YOUR DATING SKILLS.


No matter how badly you crash and burn, as long as
you learn something from your mistakes every time, you can
only improve.


When a journalist made fun of Edison for failing to
make the light bulb after 5000 tries, Edison merely said, “I’ve
found 5000 ways of how to not make a light bulb.”


This is the attitude you should have towards dating.
Every time something doesn’t work out, LEARN FROM IT.


Every mistake you make will only bring you a bit
closer to your eventual success.


The only way to lose is to not learn from experiences
and make the same mistakes every time.

Technique #6: Look At The Big Picture


A good way to be a challenge and not fear losing a
particular woman is to see the world beyond dating and
getting laid.


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women


Most guys who act like needy losers are only this way
because they FEAR losing a woman. They put such an
emphasis on their love lives that they become obsessed
whenever a woman goes near them


The more you’re obsessed with something, the more
you’ll fear losing it. And the more you fear losing a woman,
the more you will push her away.


Here are a few tips on how to balance your life:

- Always make YOUR life come first.

- Have clear goals…and work hard to achieve them.

- Have an active social life.

- Excel in school, business, or work.

- Have
hobbies.

- Don’t spend all your time on a woman.


Technique #7: Develop a Non-Scarcity Mentality


A common trait that most successful people have is
that they believe there is an abundance of resources in this
world.


In business, the most successful entrepreneurs know
there’s more money to be made than anyone could possibly
make in a lifetime. On the contrary, the stingy merchant-
class businessmen believe there’s a limited supply of wealth
on this planet…and that to become richer, they must “screw
over” other people. These guys are the guys who worry so
much about scouring pennies off the streets that they miss
the hundred dollar bills floating in the air.


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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How To Overcome Your Fear Of Approaching Women


In dating, guys who believe there is a “limited” supply
of women in their town will never become truly successful
with women.


The truth is…there are enough women to go around
for EVERYONE. Just because you’ve crashed and burned
with one girl does not mean you’re never going to meet the
love of your life. There are over 3,200,000,000 women on
this earth as we speak. Let’s say only 1 in a million is
compatible with you, there’ll still be 3200 women for you to
choose from.


I guarantee you that if you open your heart, you will
find an abundance of women who are compatible with you in
a long-term relationship. And if you’re just after sex, I also
promise you there’ll be an endless supply of women who
want to sleep with you.


Technique #8: Develop a Playful Attitude


Personally, I think developing a playful attitude is the
key to overcoming your fear with women.

Readers of my Smart Dating Course will know that I
encourage them to flirt with women without caring about the
results.

I want you to do the same.

From now on, flirt with women and tease women to
make them feel good. Don’t do it because you want anything
in return. Do it because you like giving positive energy to
other people.

Become a playful flirt, and you’ll soon see that there’s
NOTHING to lose by flirting with women casually. They can’t
say “no” to you because you’re not asking for anything from
them. Yet if you flirt correctly, you are going to become very
attractive in their eyes.!


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Copyright 2005 - Marius Panzarella - All Rights Reserved

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