PUMP IT UP: THE WARRIOR'S PATH
Written by
Joseph Greene
The Final Chapter in the "Serious Business" Sage
Address
Phone Number
INT. CAR
DEREK and WOLFEN are pondering their last adventure.
DEREK
How could things get fucked up so
bad so fast?
WOLFEN
That's what happens when dance
games are introduced to the world.
DEREK
I thought we put a stop to that?
WOLFEN
I thought we did too. Perhaps we
missed something.
DEREK
But what?
WOLFEN
John and Suptrashcan... we never
took care of them.
DEREK
This is why Yvette's captured. We
didn't you remind me to take them
out too?
WOLFEN
They weren't around. The Yu-Gi-Oh
concert.
DEREK
Fuck.
DEREK (CONT'D)
We gotta find her.
WOLFEN
Pfft, why?
DEREK
She's an elegant piece of British
as.
WOLFEN
She doesn't have that much ass.
DEREK
I have the power now, I can do
whatever I need to do.
2.
WOLFEN
You're not going to get a piece of
that. You know that right?
DEREK
You don't know that. Women love to
be rescued.
WOLFEN
Unless she has some sort of fucking
Princess Peach Complex, I think
you're out of your Goddamn mind.
WOLFEN (CONT'D)
If you really want to go after
Yvette... we need no get some help.
DEREK
Again? What the fuck Wolfen?
WOLFEN
I'm not strolling into any more
empty buildings with you.
DEREK
Fair enough.
EXT. CHICAGO RIVER
MONSTER JOE is observing the ducks.
MONSTER JOE
Glad to see you again.
DEREK
Really Wolfen? This guy?
WOLFEN
He had the information last time.
MONSTER JOE
Which you all didn't read. Thank
you.
WOLFEN
Sorry bout that.
MONSTER JOE
I had his song selection, and even
step patterns to all the songs
right here.
3.
MONSTER JOE (CONT'D)
Had you read it, you would have
saved yourselves hours of time.
DEREK
How long are you going to rub our
noses in it?
MONSTER JOE
I apologize. What's the problem
this week.
WOLFEN
Apparently SupTrashCan didn't go
off and die in a ditch somewhere.
MONSTER JOE
That's really too bad. I mean
really... that's too bad.
DEREK
He has Yvette and is most likely
inflecting violence of a sexual
nature.
MONSTER JOE
He taping it?
DEREK
What?
MONSTER JOE
Never mind.
MONSTER JOE (CONT'D)
I've been getting some information
though.
WOLFEN
You always do.
MONSTER JOE
There are rumors that Pump it Up
has surfaced.
WOLFEN
Jesus Christ...
DEREK
You have a dissertation on this
too? Because we could just get on
the road.
4.
MONSTER JOE
Actually no I don't. But I have a
couple of contacts.
DEREK
Well, take us to them.
MONSTER JOE
Indeed.
EXT. RESTAURANT - DAY
DEREK and WOLFEN are walking through a business district and
come upon a small restaurant.
DEREK
Why the fuck are we in Indiana.
WOLFEN
Yeah, seriously. Fuck this state.
DEREK
I thought I made my feelings clear
on Indiana.
WOLFEN
This is the place.
INT. RESTAURANT
WOLFEN and DEREK cauntiously scan the room
WOLFEN
Monster Joe said they were short in
stature. With him that could mean
anything coming out of his mouth.
DEREK notices two young kids sitting at a booth.
DEREK
You think...
WOLFEN
No, it couldn't.
DEREK
Come on.
They approach.
OLIVER
Wolfen, Derek?
5.
DEREK
Fuck this. No.
OLIVER
Sit your ass down.
DEREK
Aren't you a little young to be an
informant?
OLIVER
No. Not at all.
LIZ
Did Joe send you?
DEREK
Who's this?
OLIVER
That's Liz, she's my other pair of
eyes.
LIZ
Sup brothas?
OLIVER
Here's the information you wanted.
OLVIER hands WOLFEN a folder full of documents.
WOLFEN
Seems legit.
DEREK
What's this?
LIZ
I see reading is a difficult task
for you.
OLIVER
Don't be rude.
LIZ
These two are like a million years
old.
WOLFEN
A little read comprehension goes a
long way. Stay in school kids.
DEREK
Pump it Up.
6.
WOLFEN
Jesus, I guess since the whole In
the Groove thing didn't work out as
planned. They moved on to the next
thing.
DEREK
5 panels. That's insane. You can
imagine doubles on this shit?
WOLFEN
I've played some Pump it Up in my
time. Shit's fucked up.
DEREK
We should really be watching our
language in front of the kids.
WOLFEN
Relax they're be smoking pot and
having unprotected sex with
multiple partners before you know
it.
DEREK
Jesus...
WOLFEN
We should probably...
DEREK
...get going.
LIZ
Finishing each other's sentences.
You guys gay or something?
DEREK
I'm not gay. Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
OLIVER
Not at all. Come on, let's bounce.
LIZ
Don't fail.
DEREK
I can assure you that won't happen.
WOLFEN
Don't forgot to brush your teeth
kids.
7.
LIZ
Fuck you furry.
DEREK and WOLFEN get up and walk away.
DEREK
They really absorb that shit like a
sponge don't they?
WOLFEN
I just got sassed by a fucking six
your old.
INT. CAR
JOE is driving through a residential neighborhood, there's a
woman, MAYA in the passenger seat, asleep and handcuffed to
the door.
JOE
Wake up. We're here.
MAYA
The fuck? Why'd you knock me out?
JOE
Remember hun, you can't be trusted.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Maya met Joe on Craigslist. I think
we're pretty clear on how that
turned out.
MAYA
Could you at least take the cuffs
off?
JOE
What did I just say?
MAYA
You're a psychopath.
JOE
I'm trying to stop the pandemic
known as Open ITG. John would NEVER
shut the fuck up about it.
MAYA
Yeah, you've told me the story. You
can't just go kill your brother.
8.
JOE
I'm doing the Lord's work. Open
Source dance games are nothing but
a murderous, hacking retard rodeo.
MAYA
Retard rodeo?
JOE
It's cost a lot of people there
lives. Almost killed my friend
Derek too. Shit's not going to
happen again. Not on my watch.
MAYA
I see. So what, has your brother
been avoiding you?
JOE
You could say that.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
After Ryzen's defeat a month ago,
John went into hiding... knowing
that his brother was a fucking
psychopath.
JOE
You ready for this?
MAYA
For what?
JOE
It's John's house.
MAYA
Oh fuck no.
JOE
We need to kill him and we need to
kill him NOW.
MAYA
You're crazy. Let me go.
JOE
DANCING GAMES ARE SERIOUS BUSINESS
WOMAN! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ME?
PEOPLE WILL DIE!
JOE (CONT'D)
Now or never.
9.
MAYA
Jesus.
INT. JOHN'S HOUSE/KITCHEN
JOHN is eating breakfast, enjoying life... then his mom walks
in and heads for the coffee maker.
JOHN
Fuck yeah Kroger brand cereal
JOHN'S MOM
Morning.
JOHN
Morning.
JOHN'S MOM
How you holding up?
JOHN
How do you think?
JOHN'S MOM makes her way to the table and sits down.
JOHN'S MOM
I guess if my brother were a
deranged psychopath hell bent of
murdering me then I'd be scared
shitless too.
JOHN
You love and support are drowning
me.
JOHN'S MOM
I told you before you got wrapped
up in all of this, dancing games
are serious business.
JOHN
Where do you suppose he is now.
Doorbell rings.
JOHN (CONT'D)
Wonder who that is.
EXT. JOHN'S HOUSE
JOE, handcuffed to MAYA has guns drawn and waiting
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