Fish Fingers and Custard Doctor WHo Fanzine Issue 2

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2
Where Do You Go When All The Love Has Gone?

Those are lyrics that I have just made up. I’m sure you’ll agree that I’m up there with all
the modern musical geniuses, such as Prince, Stevie Wonder, Eric Clapton and Justin
Bieber. But where am I going with this? I have an idea and it WILL make sense. Or so I
hope…

The beauty with Doctor Who is that even when the 13 weeks worth of episodes have
gone, we don’t need to cry and mourn for its disappearance (or in my case – ran off
without a word and never contacted me again). There are all sorts of commodities out
there that we can lay our hands on and enjoy. (I’m starting to regret making this analogy
now, as the drug-crazed aliens from Torchwood: Children of Earth would have been a
better comparison!) The sheer size of Doctor Who fandom is incredibly huge and you’ll
always be able to pick up something that’ll make you feel the way you do when you’re
stuck in the middle of an episode. (This fanzine is akin to Love and Monsters than Empty
Child/The Doctor Dances, to be honest!) Whether it be a magazine, book, DVD,
audiobook, toy (they ARE toys btw), convention, podcast or even a fanzine, it’s all out
there for us to explore and enjoy when a series ends, so we’ve no need to get upset and
pine until Christmas!

And wasn’t Series 5 (or whatever you want to call it) just superb? I can be quite smug
here and say that I was never worried about Matt Smith nailing the role of The Doctor.
He had me sold a minute into his first appearance in ‘The End of Time’ and the resulting
months were spent on the interweb, shaking my head at children’s and other (older)
people’s comments about ‘how nobody can replace David’ and variations of ‘who is Matt
Smith’. At times I felt like telling these people to piss off and watch the dumbed-down
soaps that they’re so used to, but as fans of Doctor Who (and not any particular actor!) it’s
up to us to protect the show and re-educate people, if needs be! It was extremely funny to
read people’s comments after The Eleventh Hour though!

I’m not really going to go into the series, as we’ve got reviews elsewhere in these pages.
But I believe that we’re in safe hands for years to come. Big thanks (again) to Steven
Moffat and the team at Cardiff for breathing new life into the program we love. Let’s
hope it doesn’t go away any time soon. Or indeed, run off without a word.

You would have thought that with Series 5 being such a success, that the press would get
behind the program. Apart from being insanely popular over here, the show is gaining in
popularity all over the world and doing the reputation of British drama a world of good.
This isn’t good enough for our tabloid press though, who for some reason aren’t prepared
to celebrate success and like to knock it, make up lies and generally take enjoyment in
placing people at a discomfort. No names named, but when you base your news around
the X Factor and Big Brother rejects, it’s hardly surprising to find that journalists have no
taste. It’s worrying to see the affect these bastards (the most apt word for them) have on
the public with just one news item (and I’m not just talking about Doctor Who anymore,
by the way!)
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2
It’s not something that I’ll normally comment on, but I’ve been really worried at people’s
reactions to some of these stories. All I can say is just to take rumours about the show
with a JCB-sized pinch of salt, as the majority of them are nicked off various message
boards, after being made up by somebody, anyway! Their articles are written to get a
reaction - just laugh it off. No doubt the Doctor Who team down at Cardiff do!

Keep the faith and roll on Christmas (actually maybe not - I’ve not saved anything up!)

Danny


This edition of Fish Custard Fanzine was sponsored by The Torchwood Institute (we’ve
no idea what they do, but boy aren’t they sexy?)

Editor: Daniel Gee

Contributors: Martin Marshall, Emma Donovan, Thomas Cookson, Grant Bull,
Elizabeth Peloso, Richard Wiggins, Frank Collins, Patrick Riley, Tim Drury,
Stephan Black, Thomas Spychalski, Steven Sautter, Steve James and Davide
Dickinson

Front Cover Photo: Andrew Murray
Back Cover Art: Carly Jones

Special Thanks To: Nicolas Blake, Martin Marshall & Alex Giles

For Nic x

The views/images contained in this fanzine
are those of the contributors and not
necessarily of Fish Custard Fanzine. So
think twice before you send in abuse, writs
and bungs. (In fact, the latter is ok by us).

If you would like to contribute anything to
future issues of the fanzine, please drop a
line, or preferably an e-mail, to
fishcustardfanzine@googlemail.com or on
Twitter – www.twitter.com/fishcustardzine
or on Facebook (search ‘Fish Custard
Fanzine’). You can also visit our blog site,
which is regularly updated with information,
news and other Fish Custard-stuff at
www.fishcustardfanzine.co.uk

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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2
PARADISE FIVES

5 Annoying, Overused and Untrue
5 Actors Who Would Make A Great
Statements Used, When Talking
Doctor
About Doctor Who


• David Morrissey
• “I hid behind the sofa”
• Benedict Cumberbatch
• “Wobbly sets”
• Harry Sedgewick
• “It was rubbish in the 80’s”
• Jack Davenport
• “It’s for kids”
• Patterson Joseph
• “David is THE best Doctor”


5 Names The NEW Daleks Have Been

Called
5 Things That The Sun Newspaper Is

Good For
• iDaleks

• Teletubbies
• Sport
• Skittles
• Page 3 (sometimes)
• Cash Cows
• Free telly magazine every Saturday
• Shit
• Laughable articles

• Burning
5 Doctor Who People I Follow On

Twitter


5 Better Reads Than Tabloid
• Noel Clarke
Newspapers
• Mark Gatiss

• Murray Gold
• Satanic Verses
• Paul Cornell
• The Da Vinci Code
• Steven Moffat
• The Bible

• The Twilight Saga
5 Steven Moffat Series’
• Fish Custard Fanzine


• Joking Apart

• Press Gang
5 Things That Will NOT Happen In
• Coupling
Series 6/32 of Doctor Who
• Jekyll

• Sherlock
• More than half the stories will be set

off Earth
5 Crimes Harry Sedgewick Has Been
• ..and they will have NO human
Arrested For
element in them whatsoever


• An old Doctor will NOT appear…
• Fraud
• There’ll be a 3-part story
• Impersonating David Tennant
• Russell T Davies will write an episode
• Bribery

• Loitering outside a ladies toilet
• Assault
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Fish Fingers and Custard Issue 2
SOMETHING OLD, SOMETHING NEW, SOMETHING
BORROWED AND SOMETHING BLUE…
The Series 5 Review



To be that little bit different (as well as extremely awkward) we asked our
contributors to write us some 300 word reviews of series 5…

The True Purpose of the Pandorica
that, seem too smart – they wouldn’t

take chances, not where their greatest
Another series of Doctor Who has come
enemy is concerned. Then, it hit me.
and gone and I have to say that I have
The Daleks were lying to The Doctor
thoroughly enjoyed it. Even the weaker
and probably even the rest of their
episodes were good fun and, thanks to
temporary allies when they told him that
the overall linking narrative of the
they would save the universe
“cracks in space/time” there were no
themselves. They knew all too well that
wasted episodes. Only one thing slightly
they would not be able to do so.
bothered me in the wonderful finale. I
Nevertheless, that didn’t mean that they
couldn’t help wondering why the
couldn’t take advantage of the situation.
Pandorica should have a Restoration

Field within it at all. I mean, obviously,
Instead of saving the universe
it had to have one so that existence
themselves, or simply standing by and
could be saved – but why would the
letting The Doctor do what he does best,
Daleks and their ‘Coalition of Evil’
the Daleks came up with something
build one?
terribly dangerous and risky but so

daring you have to admire it. They gave
Was it simply to increase the torture of
The Doctor the means to save the
The Doctor, lengthening his already
universe but only in such a way that he
long life? No. These new Daleks, while
would have to remove himself from
certainly being malicious enough for
space and time altogether. It was a
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scheme that could only be founded upon
importance in this season and I can
an utter conviction that one’s greatest
honestly say I enjoyed them all for what
enemy is infallible. If he had failed, they
they give individually and to the bigger
were dead. But, if he succeeded – as
picture. It has been a season of new with
they knew he would – they lived. Free.
several charming nods to the old, there
Now, that’s diabolical ingenuity.
have been laughs, shocks and even tears

(I admit it!) and I can’t wait for more!
 MARTIN MARSHALL


 GRANT BULL
Season Perfect


Stepping Into Tennant’s Converse
Season 5, Season 31, Season Fnarg…

call it what you what but personally I
So, a review of Series 5 of the rebooted
will be calling it ‘Season Perfect’, for
Doctor Who…
me not since Season 14 has Doctor Who

been so strong. One of the main reasons
A new Doctor. A new companion. A
is Matt Smith, my God he is amazing!
new TARDIS. A new writer. A new
David Tennant wanted to play the
theme song. A new logo.
Doctor; this man was meant to play the

Doctor. He shines throughout and shines
My main questions when sitting down to
a brilliant bright - His mannerisms are a
watch The Eleventh Hour (broadcast all
joy to watch, the subtle gestures with his
the way back on 3rd April, I was only
hands are intriguing, you can’t help but
just out of hospital after a nasty bout of
watch him, you don’t know what he will
appendicitis) were: Why did you have to
do next or how, the Doctor feels alien
leave, David Tennant? Didn't you realise
again! The other reason for the
that you lit up my life every week with
perfectness of this season is Steven
your sideburns and strange way of
Moffat, this as we know is his dream
having every single character fancy
job, no doubt he planned this season for
you?
years in his head biding his time and

how he delivered. It’s a season of
Ahem. I was also wondering how
balance; it keeps momentum like a long
Stephen Moffat, writer of the most
distance runner, and then explodes at the
interesting stories of the past few
end over the finish line (that sounded
seasons, would fare as the main writer.
good in my head!) The Eleventh Hour
And if Matt Smith was in any way fit to
for me was perfect as were Time of
step into David Tennant's Converse.
Angels/Flesh and Stone and The

Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang, Moffat
So, thirteen episodes on and I have the
at his timey-wimey best. The
answer to all my questions. Tennant had
‘Something borrowed…’ moment in
to leave because Smith's Doctor is
The Big Bang was magical writing
amazing. Youthful looking yet with a
simply Genius. Its plain to see the care
truly ancient soul behind those eyes, he
and craft that has been put into this
played the role perfectly, without all the
season, nothing nailed on at the last
over-the-top shouty-ness that Ten
minute, all planned and perfectly
degenerated into. Stephen Moffat as the
executed. Even the lesser episodes have
main writer excelled himself with a
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brilliant Weeping Angels two-parter and
another, culminating ultimately in the
the best season finale I have ever seen,
Big Bang. Our Doctor, during these
on any programme. Richard Curtis made
thirteen stories, is always running to
me cry. Rory's devotion to Amy made
catch up as events constantly get ahead
me fall in love with him just a bit. Amy
of him - having to think in triple time -
firmly kicked Rose's whiny ass to
frustrated by fishy vampires, frightened
become easily the second best
by Weeping Angels, flummoxed by the
companion (no-one beats Donna!). And
Dream Lord, and utterly, endearingly,
as to my Converse remark? Well, is
flustered by River Song.
Tennant fit to wear Smith's bow tie?! (I

still love you though, Tennant!)
This, to me, turned out to be the biggest

appeal of the series - that our beloved
All in all, best series (and Doctor) so far.
Doctor, like us, never quite knew what
Though the less said about Chris
was coming next. He had to think fast
Chibnall the better!
and improvise, which meant that we

viewers also had to be belles on our toes
 EMMA DONOVAN
in order to keep up (after all, he was

making perfect sense). He didn’t know
Frustrated, Frightened, Flummoxed
what was around the next corner. He
and Flustered
wasn’t a confident guy with a plan;

instead, he had twenty minutes and a
“Twenty minutes to save the world, and
shut post office, and, for our new
I’ve got a post office. And it’s shut.” -
Doctor, that was more than enough!
The Doctor in The Eleventh Hour

 ELIZABETH PELOSO
From the very beginning of Season (yes,

fine, ok… Series) Five, our new Doctor
That Old Magic
is caught on the hop. He and the

TARDIS are still regenerating, little
When everyone mentions Series 5, they
Amelia has suddenly become grown-up
mention the word ‘new’, but is
Amy, apparently Prisoner Zero has
everything really that different? Yes,
escaped (who knew?!), the good ol’
we have a new Doctor, new
sonic screwdriver has a meltdown, and
companion(s), TARDIS set and
there are, in fact, no ducks in the duck
production team, but that old magic
pond. Oh, and the Earth is about to be
behind the show that pulls in people of
incinerated… again. By the end of the
all ages, to tune in every week, is still
episode, the Doctor has saved the Earth
there. In fact - it’s probably improved
(huzzah!), but he still has the oddest
under this new regime!
twinge that nothing is quite what it

seems.
The Eleventh Hour was just perfect.

What a wonderful opener to this ‘new’
His intuition proves disconcertingly
era for Doctor Who. Has there been a
accurate throughout his subsequent
better debut story for a Doctor? Seeing
adventures as Moffat (bless his heart)
Matt Smith just pop his head above the
leads his Doctor and us, the eager
TARDIS and ask for an apple, just
audience, through one twist after
deleted any doubts about his ability to
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play The Doctor. I honestly believe it’s
best comic timing I’ve seen for a while.
a natural role for him - watching him in
I was really glad to see Rory come
interviews, you can just see his daft
aboard the TARDIS at the end of the
mannerisms flying about the place!
series.


I thought it was a nice touch to have a
The series did have it’s stinkers – The
younger Amy included in the series, as
Dalek story was a little bit too short for
it at least offered some backstory to a
me (should have been a two-parter) and
character (the older Amy) that we’ve
these new Daleks aren’t anything but a
only just met. I felt she improved
marketing ploy, surely? But otherwise,
throughout the series and I think next
it was an excellent start to Steven
year will see bigger and better
Moffat’s era.
performances from Karen Gillan.


And as the team get used to their roles
However, my favourite character from
on the show - it can only get better!
the series was Rory. The casting for

Doctor Who is always very good, but
 STEVE JAMES
where did they find Arthur Darvill? An
absolutely fantastic actor, who has the

Stop press…2011 Series

Recently, Doctor Who Executive Producer, Steven Moffat, announced that Series 6 (2011
series) would be broadcast over the entire year, with 7 episodes from Easter and the
remaining 6 from Autumn onwards. In between there will be an ‘earth shattering climax’
to wet our appetites.

We received two differing views on this news, just prior to the release of this issue…

My Reasons to be really excited (and scared) about Doctor Who in 2011

We’ve all heard the news, Doctor Who in 2011 is to be split into two segments. That means that
both series six and seven will be aired next year, although there has been no suggestion that there
will be any increase in the number of episodes made.

”The wrong expression would be to say we are splitting it in two. We are making it two separate
series.” – Steven Moffat

Series six will be seven episodes long ending with a huge cliff-hanger, then series seven will be six
episodes long with an extra opening episode and finale, doubling the amount of ‘event’ episodes in
the year. It seems to me that Moffat has done this, to get past the mid-series lull that is usually seen
in TV ratings across the board, not just in Doctor Who.

I think it is a great idea, it will be effective in doubling the amount of interest in the show, with
increased press coverage and large amounts of speculation between series from both fans and casual
viewers alike.

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The other great news that everybody seems to have overlooked is that Moffat has confirmed Rory to
be present throughout series 6/7 (rather then jumping off the TARDIS in Christmas 2010). He
mentions his plans to make both Amy and Rory endure his ‘massive cliff-hanger.’ I like the fact that
they are keeping Rory rather then just making him another throw away character.

I only have a couple of questions that are worrying me, firstly, if series 6/7 of Doctor Who is twice
as epic, will smaller scale episodes like ‘Vincent and the Doctor’ be sidelined to make way for ‘end
of the world/universe/time/Doctor’ stories?

Secondly, will we have to buy two box sets or will series 6/7 come as one?

Whatever happens, I think Doctor Who is in very safe hands Matt, Karen, Arthur and Moffat are
geniuses and should certainly be able to pull of the most jam-packed year of Doctor Who ever!

 RICHARD WIGGINS

Event Television? My Arse!

Why does EVERYTHING have to be an event now? A Premiere and a Finale? I don’t understand.
Why can’t they just whack on the episodes and let us watch them, without a feeling that you’re
watching something that was knocked back by FOX because it was ‘a bit good’?

I’m proud of Doctor Who. It was something different to other television shows out there. That’s
exactly what makes it stand out. Doctor Who doesn’t need to be like everything else in this
corporate, identikit-age, where everything HAS to be the same. Why can’t we dare to show any
individuality anymore? Programs in the US do this with their ‘seasons’, so why should Doctor
Who? Next they’ll be slowing down the pace of an episode, so BBC Worldwide can sell the
program abroad, with ready-made advert breaks…

I’m just dumbfounded by it all. Does the television industry think that we’re so thick that we can’t
just sit down and watch 13 episodes of something without any gimmick attached to it? The classic
series had all their best episodes stuck in the middle of a run anyway. I’m not saying that I would
like to end on something akin to ‘The Twin Dilemma’, I just want to see something different to these
‘event episode’ every year. People will point to the fact that ‘event television’ makes people
excited, isn’t Doctor Who coming back not exciting enough? The ‘story-arc’ idea was a wonderful
concept to begin with, but I wish they give it a rest for a couple of years, as it’s becoming repetitive
and boring.

The cynical in me would point the finger at the BBC and their recent budget cuts, which may have
forced the hand of the production team. Then there’s the fact Moffat is working on Sherlock and the
rumoured switch to Autumn, for the 2012 series because of the Olympics. I personally think it’s a
mix of all 3, I don’t believe for a minute that this was all Moffat’s idea.

If it means a better series, then fair enough. I actually think the spilt is a good idea, in terms of the
quality of the episodes, it’s just this ‘event television’ that bugs me - it’s something that we have
never needed and won’t ever need.

 STEVE JAMES


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The Title Scandal

Ever since viewers first
witnessed Matt Smith
answering young Amelia’s plea
to Santa for someone to fix the
crack in her wall, the fandom
has been split down the middle
about the Steven Moffat era.
Some have worried that the
story arc from Series 5 was too
timey-wimey. Others have
questioned Karen Gillan's
qualifications to play Amy
Pond, and whether there’s a conspiracy to promote Scots and redheads. And don’t even
get me started on those ‘iDaleks’, the only disappointment of the series for me. But one of
the most blown-out-of-proportion complaints I saw this year pertains to the lightning-vortex
title sequence.

I’ll declare it up front: my opinion of the theme began as love at first sight. Admittedly,
since I was a bit Who-deprived due to the almost-empty 2009 and the gap between The
End of Time and The Eleventh Hour, I was bound to be excited about pretty much
everything the first episode brought to the table. However, after seeing the new Ooo-Wee-
Ooo run its course over the past season, and then hearing it in full on Radio 3 at this year's
Doctor Who Prom, I’m convinced that the theme is yet another product of Murray Gold’s
genius. Why? Because he treats this intro as just what it is supposed to be: an intro. The
task of the opening sequence for any programme is to build the excitement in the viewer
enough to keep him watching. If the pre-titles teaser, an addition to and icon of the revived
series, is the bait, then the title sequence is the pole, reeling the viewer into the forty-five
minute boat of time and space and sonic screwdrivers.

And while one is being tugged by some plastic twine connected to a fishing rod, one might
as well have some catchy music to listen to while waiting to be dipped into the Doctor’s
custard. Some good ol’ foot-tapping tunes would be nice. The emphasis on rhythm in this
particular incarnation of Ron Grainer’s masterpiece has never made it easier for finger-
drumming to happen. The rhythm has more of an UMPH than ever before, so much so
that the on-screen TARDIS itself seems to be dancing, with its backflips through the vortex
mesmerizingly on beat. It’s the end-all acid trip.

That’s not even the best part; the wind-instrument addition before Matt Smith’s name is
electrified onto the screen fills the long-lost hole in the theme that I never knew existed.
You know what I’m talking about: that cinematic segment of the music that has never been
heard in the Doctor Who title music before the thirty-first season but acts as if it was always
there. Whenever I’m in a good enough temperament to hum the Who theme as I progress
through my day-to-day rituals, which, as it happens, is at least once every twenty-four
hours, I always make sure to include that suddenly-all-important opening bit. And
whenever I fire up my TARDIS to visit a favourite story from the olden days before the bow
tie and tweed, especially if it’s an Eccles-ode or a Tennan-thon, I always seem to notice
the empty place that isn’t filled with the dramatic blaring horns introducing the introduction
to the latest season.

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