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How To Win Friends and Influence People

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A Dale Carnegie Classic
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Content Preview
How To Win Friends And Influence People
By
Dale Carnegie

--------------

Copyright - 1936 / 1964 / 1981 (Revised Edition)
Library of Congress Catalog Number - 17-19-20-18
ISBN - O-671-42517-X
Scan Version : v 1.0
Format : Text with cover pictures.
Date Scanned: Unknown
Posted to (Newsgroup): alt.binaries.e-book

Scan/Edit Note: I have made minor changes to this work, including a
contents page, covers etc. I did not scan this work (I only have the
1964 version) but decided to edit it since I am working on Dale's
other book "How To Stop Worrying and Start Living" and thought it
best to make minor improvements. Parts 5 and 6 were scanned and
added to this version by me, they were not included (for some
reason) in the version which appeared on alt.binaries.e-book.

-Salmun

--------------

Contents:

Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve
Preface to Revised Edition
How This Book Was Written-And Why
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book
A Shortcut to Distinction

Part 1 - Fundamental Techniques In Handling People

* 1 - "If You Want to Gather Honey, Don't Kick Over the Beehive"
* 2 - The Big Secret of Dealing with People
* 3 - "He Who Can Do This Has the Whole World with Him. He Who
Cannot, Walks a Lonely Way"

* Eight Suggestions On How To Get The Most Out Of This Book

Part 2 - Six Ways To Make People Like You

* 1 - Do This and You'll Be Welcome Anywhere
* 2 - A Simple Way to Make a Good Impression
* 3 - If You Don't Do This, You Are Headed for Trouble
* 4 - An Easy Way to Become a Good Conversationalist
* 5 - How to Interest People

* 6 - How To Make People Like You Instantly
* In A Nutshell

Part 3 - Twelve Ways To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

* 1 - You Can't Win an Argument
* 2 - A Sure Way of Making Enemies--and How to Avoid It
* 3 - If You're Wrong, Admit It
* 4 - The High Road to a Man's Reason
* 5 - The Secret of Socrates
* 6 - The Safety Valve in Handling Complaints
* 7 - How to Get Co-operation
* 8 - A Formula That Will Work Wonders for You
* 9 - What Everybody Wants
* 10 - An Appeal That Everybody Likes
* 11 - The Movies Do It. Radio Does It. Why Don't You Do It?
* 12 - When Nothing Else Works, Try This
* In A Nutshell

Part 4 - Nine Ways To Change People Without Giving Offence Or
Arousing Resentment

* 1 - If You Must Find Fault, This Is the Way to Begin
* 2 - How to Criticize--and Not Be Hated for It
* 3 - Talk About Your Own Mistakes First
* 4 - No One Likes to Take Orders
* 5 - Let the Other Man Save His Face
* 6 - How to Spur Men on to Success
* 7 - Give the Dog a Good Name
* 8 - Make the Fault Seem Easy to Correct
* 9 - Making People Glad to Do What You Want
* In A Nutshell

Part 5 - Letters That Produced Miraculous Results
Part 6 - Seven Rules For Making Your Home Life Happier

* 1 - How to Dig Your Marital Grave in the Quickest Possible Way
* 2 - Love and Let Live
* 3 - Do This and You'll Be Looking Up the Time-Tables to Reno
* 4 - A Quick Way to Make Everybody Happy
* 5 - They Mean So Much to a Woman
* 6 - If you Want to be Happy, Don't Neglect This One
* 7 - Don't Be a "Marriage Illiterate"
* In A Nutshell

--------------

Eight Things This Book Will Help You Achieve


* 1. Get out of a mental rut, think new thoughts, acquire new
visions, discover new ambitions.
* 2. Make friends quickly and easily.
* 3. Increase your popularity.
* 4. Win people to your way of thinking.
* 5. Increase your influence, your prestige, your ability to get things
done.
* 6. Handle complaints, avoid arguments, keep your human contacts
smooth and pleasant.
* 7. Become a better speaker, a more entertaining conversationalist.
* 8. Arouse enthusiasm among your associates.

This book has done all these things for more than ten million readers
in thirty-six languages.

--------------

Preface to Revised Edition

How to Win Friends and Influence People was first published in 1937
in an edition of only five thousand copies. Neither Dale Carnegie nor
the publishers, Simon and Schuster, anticipated more than this
modest sale. To their amazement, the book became an overnight
sensation, and edition after edition rolled off the presses to keep up
with the increasing public demand. Now to Win Friends and
InfEuence People took its place in publishing history as one of the
all-time international best-sellers. It touched a nerve and filled a
human need that was more than a faddish phenomenon of post-
Depression days, as evidenced by its continued and uninterrupted
sales into the eighties, almost half a century later.

Dale Carnegie used to say that it was easier to make a million dollars
than to put a phrase into the English language. How to Win Friends
and Influence People became such a phrase, quoted, paraphrased,
parodied, used in innumerable contexts from political cartoon to
novels. The book itself was translated into almost every known
written language. Each generation has discovered it anew and has
found it relevant.

Which brings us to the logical question: Why revise a book that has
proven and continues to prove its vigorous and universal appeal?
Why tamper with success?

To answer that, we must realize that Dale Carnegie himself was a
tireless reviser of his own work during his lifetime. How to Win
Friends and Influence People was written to be used as a textbook
for his courses in Effective Speaking and Human Relations and is still
used in those courses today. Until his death in 1955 he constantly
improved and revised the course itself to make it applicable to the
evolving needs of an every-growing public. No one was more

sensitive to the changing currents of present-day life than Dale
Carnegie. He constantly improved and refined his methods of
teaching; he updated his book on Effective Speaking several times.
Had he lived longer, he himself would have revised How to Win
Friends and Influence People to better reflect the changes that have
taken place in the world since the thirties.

Many of the names of prominent people in the book, well known at
the time of first publication, are no longer recognized by many of
today's readers. Certain examples and phrases seem as quaint and
dated in our social climate as those in a Victorian novel. The
important message and overall impact of the book is weakened to
that extent.

Our purpose, therefore, in this revision is to clarify and strengthen
the book for a modern reader without tampering with the content.
We have not "changed" How to Win Friends and Influence People
except to make a few excisions and add a few more contemporary
examples. The brash, breezy Carnegie style is intact-even the thirties
slang is still there. Dale Carnegie wrote as he spoke, in an intensively
exuberant, colloquial, conversational manner.

So his voice still speaks as forcefully as ever, in the book and in his
work. Thousands of people all over the world are being trained in
Carnegie courses in increasing numbers each year. And other
thousands are reading and studying How to Win Friends and
lnfluence People and being inspired to use its principles to better
their lives. To all of them, we offer this revision in the spirit of the
honing and polishing of a finely made tool.

Dorothy Carnegie (Mrs. Dale Carnegie)

--------------------------

How This Book Was Written-And Why
by
Dale Carnegie

During the first thirty-five years of the twentieth century, the
publishing houses of America printed more than a fifth of a million
different books. Most of them were deadly dull, and many were
financial failures. "Many," did I say? The president of one of the
largest publishing houses in the world confessed to me that his
company, after seventy-five years of publishing experience, still lost
money on seven out of every eight books it published.

Why, then, did I have the temerity to write another book? And, after
I had written it, why should you bother to read it?

Fair questions, both; and I'll try to answer them.


I have, since 1912, been conducting educational courses for business
and professional men and women in New York. At first, I conducted
courses in public speaking only - courses designed to train adults, by
actual experience, to think on their feet and express their ideas with
more clarity, more effectiveness and more poise, both in business
interviews and before groups.

But gradually, as the seasons passed, I realized that as sorely as
these adults needed training in effective speaking, they needed still
more training in the fine art of getting along with people in everyday
business and social contacts.

I also gradually realized that I was sorely in need of such training
myself. As I look back across the years, I am appalled at my own
frequent lack of finesse and understanding. How I wish a book such
as this had been placed in my hands twenty years ago! What a
priceless boon it would have been.

Dealing with people is probably the biggest problem you face,
especially if you are in business. Yes, and that is also true if you are
a housewife, architect or engineer. Research done a few years ago
under the auspices of the Carnegie Foundation for the Advancement
of Teaching uncovered a most important and significant fact - a fact
later confirmed by additional studies made at the Carnegie Institute
of Technology. These investigations revealed that even in such
technical lines as engineering, about 15 percent of one's financial
success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is
due to skill in human engineering-to personality and the ability to
lead people.

For many years, I conducted courses each season at the Engineers'
Club of Philadelphia, and also courses for the New York Chapter of
the American Institute of Electrical Engineers. A total of probably
more than fifteen hundred engineers have passed through my
classes. They came to me because they had finally realized, after
years of observation and experience, that the highest-paid personnel
in engineering are frequently not those who know the most about
engineering. One can for example, hire mere technical ability in
engineering, accountancy, architecture or any other profession at
nominal salaries. But the person who has technical knowledge plus
the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse
enthusiasm among people-that person is headed for higher earning
power.

In the heyday of his activity, John D. Rockefeller said that "the ability
to deal with people is as purchasable a commodity as sugar or
coffee." "And I will pay more for that ability," said John D., "than for
any other under the sun."


Wouldn't you suppose that every college in the land would conduct
courses to develop the highest-priced ability under the sun? But if
there is just one practical, common-sense course of that kind given
for adults in even one college in the land, it has escaped my
attention up to the present writing.

The University of Chicago and the United Y.M.C.A. Schools conducted
a survey to determine what adults want to study.

That survey cost $25,000 and took two years. The last part of the
survey was made in Meriden, Connecticut. It had been chosen as a
typical American town. Every adult in Meriden was interviewed and
requested to answer 156 questions-questions such as "What is your
business or profession? Your education? How do you spend your
spare time? What is your income? Your hobbies? Your ambitions?
Your problems? What subjects are you most interested in studying?"
And so on. That survey revealed that health is the prime interest of
adults and that their second interest is people; how to understand
and get along with people; how to make people like you; and how to
win others to your way of thinking.

So the committee conducting this survey resolved to conduct such a
course for adults in Meriden. They searched diligently for a practical
textbook on the subject and found-not one. Finally they approached
one of the world's outstanding authorities on adult education and
asked him if he knew of any book that met the needs of this group.
"No," he replied, "I know what those adults want. But the book they
need has never been written."

I knew from experience that this statement was true, for I myself
had been searching for years to discover a practical, working
handbook on human relations.

Since no such book existed, I have tried to write one for use in my
own courses. And here it is. I hope you like it.

In preparation for this book, I read everything that I could find on
the subject- everything from newspaper columns, magazine articles,
records of the family courts, the writings of the old philosophers and
the new psychologists. In addition, I hired a trained researcher to
spend one and a half years in various libraries reading everything I
had missed, plowing through erudite tomes on psychology, poring
over hundreds of magazine articles, searching through countless
biographies, trying to ascertain how the great leaders of all ages had
dealt with people. We read their biographies, We read the life stories
of all great leaders from Julius Caesar to Thomas Edison. I recall that
we read over one hundred biographies of Theodore Roosevelt alone.
We were determined to spare no time, no expense, to discover every
practical idea that anyone had ever used throughout the ages for
winning friends and influencing people.


I personally interviewed scores of successful people, some of them
world-famous-inventors like Marconi and Edison; political leaders like
Franklin D. Roosevelt and James Farley; business leaders like Owen
D. Young; movie stars like Clark Gable and Mary Pickford; and
explorers like Martin Johnson-and tried to discover the techniques
they used in human relations.

From all this material, I prepared a short talk. I called it "How to Win
Friends and Influence People." I say "short." It was short in the
beginning, but it soon expanded to a lecture that consumed one
hour and thirty minutes. For years, I gave this talk each season to
the adults in the Carnegie Institute courses in New York.

I gave the talk and urged the listeners to go out and test it in their
business and social contacts, and then come back to class and speak
about their experiences and the results they had achieved. What an
interesting assignment! These men and women, hungry for self-
improvement, were fascinated by the idea of working in a new kind
of laboratory - the first and only laboratory of human relationships
for adults that had ever existed.

This book wasn't written in the usual sense of the word. It grew as a
child grows. It grew and developed out of that laboratory, out of the
experiences of thousands of adults.

Years ago, we started with a set of rules printed on a card no larger
than a postcard. The next season we printed a larger card, then a
leaflet, then a series of booklets, each one expanding in size and
scope. After fifteen years of experiment and research came this
book.

The rules we have set down here are not mere theories or
guesswork. They work like magic. Incredible as it sounds, I have
seen the application of these principles literally revolutionize the lives
of many people.

To illustrate: A man with 314 employees joined one of these courses.
For years, he had driven and criticized and condemned his
employees without stint or discretion. Kindness, words of
appreciation and encouragement were alien to his lips. After studying
the principles discussed in this book, this employer sharply altered
his philosophy of life. His organization is now inspired with a new
loyalty, a new enthusiasm, a new spirit of team-work. Three hundred
and fourteen enemies have been turned into 314 friends. As he
proudly said in a speech before the class: "When I used to walk
through my establishment, no one greeted me. My employees
actually looked the other way when they saw me approaching. But
now they are all my friends and even the janitor calls me by my first
name."


This employer gained more profit, more leisure and -what is infinitely
more important-he found far more happiness in his business and in
his home.

Countless numbers of salespeople have sharply increased their sales
by the use of these principles. Many have opened up new accounts -
accounts that they had formerly solicited in vain. Executives have
been given increased authority, increased pay. One executive
reported a large increase in salary because he applied these truths.
Another, an executive in the Philadelphia Gas Works Company, was
slated for demotion when he was sixty-five because of his
belligerence, because of his inability to lead people skillfully. This
training not only saved him from the demotion but brought him a
promotion with increased pay.

On innumerable occasions, spouses attending the banquet given at
the end of the course have told me that their homes have been
much happier since their husbands or wives started this training.

People are frequently astonished at the new results they achieve. It
all seems like magic. In some cases, in their enthusiasm, they have
telephoned me at my home on Sundays because they couldn't wait
forty-eight hours to report their achievements at the regular session
of the course.

One man was so stirred by a talk on these principles that he sat far
into the night discussing them with other members of the class. At
three o'clock in the morning, the others went home. But he was so
shaken by a realization of his own mistakes, so inspired by the vista
of a new and richer world opening before him, that he was unable to
sleep. He didn't sleep that night or the next day or the next night.

Who was he? A naive, untrained individual ready to gush over any
new theory that came along? No, Far from it. He was a sophisticated,
blas dealer in art, very much the man about town, who spoke three
languages fluently and was a graduate of two European universities.

While writing this chapter, I received a letter from a German of the
old school, an aristocrat whose forebears had served for generations
as professional army officers under the Hohenzollerns. His letter,
written from a transatlantic steamer, telling about the application of
these principles, rose almost to a religious fervor.

Another man, an old New Yorker, a Harvard graduate, a wealthy
man, the owner of a large carpet factory, declared he had learned
more in fourteen weeks through this system of training about the
fine art of influencing people than he had learned about the same
subject during his four years in college. Absurd? Laughable?
Fantastic? Of course, you are privileged to dismiss this statement

with whatever adjective you wish. I am merely reporting, without
comment, a declaration made by a conservative and eminently
successful Harvard graduate in a public address to approximately six
hundred people at the Yale Club in New York on the evening of
Thursday, February 23, 1933.

"Compared to what we ought to be," said the famous Professor
William James of Harvard, "compared to what we ought to be, we
are only half awake. We are making use of only a small part of our
physical and mental resources. Stating the thing broadly, the human
individual thus lives far within his limits. He possesses powers of
various sorts which he habitually fails to use,"

Those powers which you "habitually fail to use"! The sole purpose of
this book is to help you discover, develop and profit by those
dormant and unused assets,

"Education," said Dr. John G. Hibben, former president of Princeton
University, "is the ability to meet life's situations,"

If by the time you have finished reading the first three chapters of
this book- if you aren't then a little better equipped to meet life's
situations, then I shall consider this book to be a total failure so far
as you are concerned. For "the great aim of education," said Herbert
Spencer, "is not knowledge but action."

And this is an action book.

DALE CARNEGIE 1936

----------------------------------

Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of This Book

1. If you wish to get the most out of this book, there is one
indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important
than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental
requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little, And if you
do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve wonders
without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a book.

What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to
learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with
people.

How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself
how important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how
their mastery will aid you in leading a richer, fuller, happier and more
fulfilling life. Say to yourself over and over: "My popularity, my

happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my
skill in dealing with people."

2. Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird's-eye view of it.
You will probably be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But
don't - unless you are reading merely for entertainment. But if you
are reading because you want to increase your skill in human
relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly. In the
long run, this will mean saving time and getting results.

3. Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are
reading. Ask yourself just how and when you can apply each
suggestion.

4. Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in
your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you
can use, draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion, then
underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it with "****."
Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far
easier to review rapidly.

5. I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large
insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the
insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she
read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after
year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the
only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind. I once spent
almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I
had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to
remember what I had written in my own book. The rapidity with
which we forget is astonishing.

So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this book, don't
imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it
thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every
month, Keep it on your desk in front of you every day. Glance
through it often. Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich
possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing. Remember
that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a
constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is
no other way.

6. Bernard Shaw once remarked: "If you teach a man anything, he
will never learn." Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We
learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are
studying in this book, do something about them. Apply these rules at
every opportunity. If you don't you will forget them quickly. Only
knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.


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