PLAIN LANGUAGE
By Philip Frost
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Plain Language in Transition
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Introduction
tends that the evidence seized in the trunk
ing Award. What makes this text flow? It uses
PL
should not have been used against him. He
Critics of plain language acknowledge
three fundamental transition devices: linking
argues that the police had no basis for seiz-
that eliminating legalese is a worthy goal, but
words, varied sentences, and repetition.
ing him and searching under his seat.
often claim that such writing is mechanical
Use Linking Words
and lifeless, a relentless procession of dull,
Obviously, plain-language advocates do not
and Go with the Flow
declarative sentences. On the contrary, legal
recommend this choppy, unvaried, and some-
writing can be concise and clear, while also
what disjointed style.
The most basic technique to improve flow
creating a sense of flow and interest that car-
Now consider this revision, with changes
is to use linking or transitional words. You
ries the reader through the text. As one of my
in italics:
can simply add words such as then, next, nev-
mentors was fond of saying, the best legal
ertheless, also, rather, therefore, but, or and near
Johnson and two others were sitting in his
writing can ‘‘sing.’ Here are some transitional
the start of sentences, or use them to join sen-
parked car when two police officers ap-
techniques that can make your writing con-
tences. These words not only link text, but
proached. Without any grounds for an arrest
cise and create flow.
or even a Terry stop, the officers ordered the
they can introduce the purpose of the follow-
three occupants to get out of the car. While
ing phrase and show its relationship to the
Get to the Point
one of the officers searched under Johnson’s
previous text. Professor Linda Edwards de-
scribes these purposes as addition, sequence,
Plain-language advocates generally say cut
seat and found drugs there, the other officer
searched the two passengers and found
comparison, contrast, concession, illustration,
surplus and use uncomplicated sentence
drugs and counterfeit money on their per-
result, summary, or emphasis.4 For example,
structure. The goal is to eliminate words that
sons. The officers then searched the trunk
the text above uses the linking words when,
get in the way of clear communication and
and found more counterfeit money plus a
while, and then to signal sequence. Of course,
to let the reader get to your point. This is es-
color copier. Johnson contends that the evi-
if they are overused, especially at the start
pecially important at the start of sentences,
dence seized in the trunk should not have
of sentences, linking words can also produce
when you move to new points. Thus, you
been used against him, since the police had
an overrepetitive effect. But used judiciously,
should usually eliminate what legal-writing
no basis for seizing him and searching un-
they are not surplus. Rather, they serve a use-
experts describe as ‘‘word wasting idioms,’
der his seat.2
ful purpose: creating interest and leading the
‘‘throat clearing’’ expressions, and ‘‘timid
Better? Of course. The new text is still
reader from point to point.
UGUST 2005
phrases,’ such as it should be noted that, the
concise—and the sentences average only 22
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fact that, it seems, or it would appear that.1
words3—but the writing moves the reader
Vary Sentence Form
And you should prefer simple, direct sen-
along and maintains interest. The author is
to Maintain Interest
tences with active, concrete verbs and nouns,
?
Judge Richard A. Posner of the United States
Another common technique to maintain
and without long modifying phrases that in-
Court of Appeals for the Seventh Circuit, a
the reader’s interest is to use sentences of dif-
terrupt your main subject and verb.
prolific author and winner of the national
ferent length and complexity. One way to do
Yet if you follow these principles mechan-
2005 Lexis-Nexis Distinguished Judicial Writ-
that is simply to combine some sentences
ically, they may produce a repetitive, staccato
using and or but. The example goes a step fur-
effect that bores or even slows the reader. For
ther. It creates more complex sentences with
example, consider this paragraph:
‘‘Plain Language’’ is a regular feature of the
more variety and interest by placing linking
Michigan Bar Journal, edited by Joseph Kimble
Johnson and two others were sitting in his
for the Plain English Subcommittee of the Publi-
words and phrases sometimes at the start and
parked car. Two police officers approached.
cations and Website Advisory Committee. We
sometimes in the middle of sentences.
They had no grounds for an arrest or even a
seek to improve the clarity of legal writing and the
But doesn’t this use of complex sentences
Terry stop. They ordered the three occupants
public opinion of lawyers by eliminating legal-
violate the plain-language rules of uncom-
to get out of the car. One of the officers
ese. Want to contribute a plain-English article?
plicated sentence structure? No, to sensible
searched under Johnson’s seat and found
Contact Prof. Kimble at Thomas Cooley Law
drugs there. The other officer searched the
plain-language advocates there are no inflexi-
School, P.O. Box 13038, Lansing, MI 48901, or at
two passengers. He found drugs and coun-
ble rules—only guidelines.5 The guidelines
kimblej@cooley.edu. For more information about
terfeit money on their persons. The officers
need not be followed at points when a dif-
plain English, see our website—www.michbar.
searched the trunk. They found counterfeit
ferent approach better serves the writer and
org/generalinfo/plainenglish/.
MICHIGAN BAR JOURNAL
money plus a color copier. Johnson con-
reader. You can always use a longer, more
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PL
complex sentence when it promotes overall
police. Later that day, he made two tape-
transition techniques and create flow. Then,
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flow. And a sentence with more than one
recorded statements to the New Hampshire
even if you can’t always make your writing
point can still be direct and clear, so long as
and New York authorities. During those
sing, you can at least make it hum along. ?
one point doesn’t interrupt another.
interviews, the defendant stated that he be-
ANGU
gan carrying a gun illegally in New York in
Philip Frost teaches Legal Practice and is the Associate
Leapfrog Along with
about 1981, shortly after he was injured
Director of the Legal Practice Program at the Univer-
during a mugging. On December 22, 1984,
Repetition and Overlapping
sity of Michigan Law School. Before joining the Uni-
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he was carrying that gun when he boarded
versity of Michigan faculty, he practiced for over 20
G
A third basic device to link text is deliber-
the subway train at 14th Street, intending to
E
years with the Dickinson, Wright firm in Detroit,
ate repetition. This occurs naturally in fact
meet some friends in lower Manhattan for a
where he concentrated in commercial litigation.
narratives like the example, through repeated
holiday drink.7
reference to the actors and subjects. There
The overlaps tie each sentence to the prior
FOOTNOTES
the actors and subjects are the officers, the
sentence and carry the action and the read-
1. Richard C. Wydick, Plain English for Lawyers 14–16
searches, and the results of the searches.
er’s attention from point to point. Note that
(4th ed. 1998); Bryan A. Garner, The Elements of
A related technique to create links and
Legal Style 35, 55–56 (2d ed. 2002).
the overlapping references can be in various
avoid choppiness is repetition through what
2. US v Johnson, 380 F3d 1013, 1014–15 (CA 7, 2004).
forms, placed either at the start of or within
3. See Joseph Kimble, The Straight Skinny on Better
Professor Helene Shapo has called ‘‘overlap-
the next sentence. And again, this repetition
Judicial Opinions, 9 Scribes J. Legal Writing 1, 20
ping’ 6—that is, repeating a term or concept
(2003–2004) (recommending 20 words as ‘‘an
is not surplus or redundancy because it helps
from the preceding sentence before giving
ideal average’’).
the reader through the text.
4. Linda H. Edwards, Legal Writing and Analysis
new points. The text overlaps, or ‘‘leapfrogs,’
271 (2003).
forward on the back of the prior sentence.
Conclusion
5. Joseph Kimble, Answering the Critics of Plain Lan-
For example, look at the following paragraph
guage, 5 Scribes J. Legal Writing 51, 66 (1994–
You can use plain language without being
1995); Wydick, supra n 1, at 38.
and the italicized overlapping phrases:
dull. Your writing can be direct and concise
6. Helene S. Shapo et al., Writing and Analysis in the
Law 193 (rev. 4th ed. 2003).
On December 31, 1984, the defendant sur-
while still keeping the reader’s attention and
7. Appellant’s Brief in People v Goetz, 501 NYS2d 326
rendered to the Concord, New Hampshire,
interest if, among other things, you use basic
(NY App Div 1986).
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UGUST 2005
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MICHIGAN BAR JOURNAL
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