Pump it Up Final

PUMP IT UP: THE WARRIOR'S PATH
Written by
Joseph Greene
The Final Chapter in the "Serious Business" Saga
Address
Phone Number

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1
INT. CAR
1
DEREK and WOLFEN are pondering their last adventure.
DEREK
How could things get fucked up so
bad so fast?
WOLFEN
That's what happens when dance
games are introduced to the world.
DEREK
I thought we put a stop to that?
WOLFEN
I thought we did too. Perhaps we
missed something.
DEREK
But what?
WOLFEN
John and Suptrashcan... we never
took care of them.
DEREK
This is why Yvette's captured. Why
didn't you remind me to take them
out too?
WOLFEN
They weren't around. The Yu-Gi-Oh
concert.
DEREK
Fuck.
DEREK (CONT'D)
We gotta find her.
WOLFEN
Pfft, why?
DEREK
She's an elegant piece of British
ass.
WOLFEN
She doesn't have that much ass.
EREK
Really?

---

2.
WOLFEN
She claims to have a "Black Girl's
Ass"... but that's just not so.
DEREK
She does have good teeth though.
WOLFEN
Any ideas?
DEREK
I have the power now, I can do
whatever I need to do.
WOLFEN
You're not going to get a piece of
that. You know that right?
DEREK
You don't know that. Women love to
be rescued.
WOLFEN
Unless she has some sort of fucking
Princess Peach Complex, I think
you're out of your Goddamn mind.
WOLFEN (CONT'D)
If you really want to go after
Yvette... we need to get some help.
DEREK
Again? What the fuck?
WOLFEN
I'm not strolling into any more
empty buildings with you.
DEREK
Fair enough.
2
EXT. CHICAGO RIVER - EVENING
2
MONSTER JOE is observing the ducks.
MONSTER JOE
Glad to see you again.
DEREK
Really Wolfen? This guy?
WOLFEN
He had the information last time.

---

3.
MONSTER JOE
Which you all didn't read. Thank
you.
WOLFEN
Sorry bout that.
MONSTER JOE
I had his song selection, and even
step patterns to all the songs
right here.
MONSTER JOE (CONT'D)
Had you read it, you would have
saved yourselves hours of time.
DEREK
How long are you going to rub our
noses in it?
MONSTER JOE
I apologize. What's the problem
this week?
WOLFEN
Apparently SupTrashCan didn't go
off and die in a ditch somewhere
like we thought.
MONSTER JOE
That's really too bad. I mean
really...
DEREK
He has Yvette and is most likely
inflecting violence of a sexual
nature.
MONSTER JOE
He taping it?
DEREK
What?
MONSTER JOE
Never mind.
MONSTER JOE (CONT'D)
I've been getting some information
though.
WOLFEN
You always do.

---

4.
MONSTER JOE
There are rumors that Pump it Up
has surfaced.
WOLFEN
Jesus fucking Christ...
DEREK
You have a dissertation on this
too? Because we could just get on
the road.
MONSTER JOE
Actually no I don't. But I have a
couple of contacts.
DEREK
Well, tell us where we need to go.
MONSTER JOE
Indeed.
3
EXT. RESTAURANT - DAY
3
DEREK and WOLFEN are walking through a business district and
come upon a small restaurant.
DEREK
Why the fuck are we in Indiana?
WOLFEN
Yeah, seriously. Fuck this state.
DEREK
I thought I made my feelings clear
on Indiana.
WOLFEN
You did, a lot. A whole lot. The
whole trip.
DEREK
Just making sure. I'm fucking
serious.
They continue to walk a little ways. Checking addresses.
WOLFEN
This is the place.

---

5.
4
INT. RESTAURANT
4
WOLFEN and DEREK cautiously scan the room
WOLFEN
Monster Joe said they were short in
stature. With him that could mean
anything coming out of his mouth.
DEREK notices two young kids sitting at a booth enjoying some
milkshakes.
He ponders the sheer idiocy of the situation.
DEREK
You think...
WOLFEN
No, it couldn't.
DEREK
Come on.
They approach.
OLIVER
Wolfen, Derek?
DEREK
No. Fuck this. No.
OLIVER
Sit your ass down please.
DEREK
Aren't you a little young to be an
informant?
OLIVER
I don't know. Am i?
LIZ
Monster Joe send you?
DEREK
Who's this?
OLIVER
That's Liz, she's my other pair of
eyes.
LIZ
Sup my niggas?

---

6.
WOLFEN
Wow, really? Let's get outa here.
LIZ
Sit down! Not gonna tell you again!
WOLFEN
Wow.
OLIVER
Here's the information you wanted.
OLVIER hands WOLFEN a folder full of documents.
WOLFEN
Seems legit actually. I'm
impressed.
DEREK
What's this?
LIZ
I see reading is a difficult task
for you. I'm sorry.
OLIVER
Don't be rude. So they're a little
slow.
LIZ
These two are like a million years
old. I would think reading
comprehension would be commonplace
for folks in that age range.
WOLFEN
A little read comprehension goes a
long way. Stay in school kids.
DEREK
Pump it Up.
WOLFEN
Jesus, I guess since the whole In
the Groove thing didn't work out as
planned. They moved on to the next
thing.
DEREK
5 panels. That's insane. You can
imagine doubles on this shit?

---

7.
WOLFEN
I've played some Pump it Up in my
time. Shit's fucked up.
DEREK
We should really be watching our
language in front of the kids.
WOLFEN
I wouldn't worry.
DEREK
They're kids.
WOLFEN
Relax, they'll be smoking pot and
having unprotected sex with
multiple partners before you know
it.
DEREK
Jesus...
WOLFEN
We should probably...
DEREK
...get going.
LIZ
Finishing each other's sentences.
You guys sleeping together or
something?
DEREK
I'm not gay. Not that there's
anything wrong with that.
WOLFEN
Of course not.
OLIVER
Not at all. Come on, let's bounce.
LIZ
Don't fail please.
DEREK
I can assure you that won't happen.
WOLFEN
Don't forgot to brush your teeth
kids.

---

8.
LIZ
Fuck you furry.
DEREK and WOLFEN get up and walk away.
DEREK
They really absorb that shit like a
sponge don't they?
WOLFEN
I just got sassed by a fucking six
your old.
DEREK
That you did.
WOLFEN
Fucking six.
5
INT. CAR
5
JOE is driving through a residential neighborhood, there's a
woman, MAYA in the passenger seat, asleep and handcuffed to
the door.
JOE
Wake up. We're here.
MAYA
The fuck? Why'd you knock me out?
JOE
Remember hun, you can't be trusted.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Maya met Joe on Craigslist. I think
we're pretty clear on how that
turned out.
MAYA
Could you at least take the cuffs
off?
JOE
What did I just say?
MAYA
You're a psychopath.
JOE
I'm trying to stop the pandemic
known as Open ITG. John would NEVER
shut the fuck up about it.

---

9.
MAYA
Yeah, you've told me the story. You
can't just go kill your brother
though.
JOE
I'm doing the Lord's work. Open
Source dance games are nothing but
a murderous, hacking retard rodeo.
MAYA
Retard rodeo?
JOE
It's cost a lot of people there
lives. Almost killed my friend
Derek too. Shit's not going to
happen again. Not on my watch.
MAYA
I see. So what, has your brother
been avoiding you?
JOE
You could say that.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
After Ryzen's defeat a month ago,
John went into hiding... knowing
that his brother was a fucking
psychopath. Wise choice.
JOE
You ready for this?
MAYA
For what?
JOE
It's John's house.
MAYA
Oh fuck no. No no no...
JOE
We need to kill him and we need to
kill him NOW.
MAYA
You're crazy. Let me go.

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