Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul

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S A M P L E - For Promo only
Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul

Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

Published in the United States of America

No part of this book may be used or reproduce in any manner whatsoever.
Unless articles are copied in their entirety with all credit given to Nova
Giovanni or excerpts embodied in critical articles and reviews. Anyone in
violation of these rules is subject to legal prosecution and an ass whooping,
in no particular order.
__________________________________

Warning: This book contains adult, vulgar language and graphics. This
book should NOT be read by minors (those under the age of 18).


Author |Comedian| Social Activist:
"Nova Giovanni"


Http://www.NovaGiovanni.com
Booking | Interviews
Represented by A-List PR Firm
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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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This book is dedicated to YOU, the reader.

Because in one way or another, you are just like
ME!



This is a compilation of some of th

e most well-known articles that I, Nova
Giovanni, have written (minus the more conscious articles appearing in
"'The MisEdukation of the Nigga").


I urge everyone to share the FREE version of this book with every living
adult via this download link: http://b it.ly/NovasFreeBook I give you
permission to give away my FREE book (via above link) by email, post it
on your blog/sites, tweet about it, FB about it & etc... Or you can purchase
the full version copy to share with friends and family members. Link to
purchase is at the end of this book.


Stay tuned! My new book "The MisEdukation of the Nigga" by Nova
Giovanni is coming VERY soon.


Join our mailing list & be one of the first people to know when the new
book is out. (Be sure to input you
r zip code so that I can notify you
when I'll be in your city!) Click button below:




Table of Contents:

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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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Contents
(click on title to be directed to desired section)

Lick Her Crack for a Late Night Snack .............................. 4
Why I Love Black Vagina .................................................. 6
How to Go From the Friend Zone to the End Zone ........... 8
Child Support Is The Devil! .............................................. 10
THE END ........................................................................ 11
Thank you for your support! ............................................ 12




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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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Lick Her Crack for a Late Night
Snack



Hello, loyal reader. There is much debate in the human community about what a man
should do to his lady in the bedroom. With that in mind, I present to you the "Bedroom
Files". This will be a compilation of sex-related articles presented to you by a sex guru by
the name of Nova Giovanni.

Bedroom Files: Volume 1 - Lick Her Crack for a Late Night Snack

I know this may be a touchy subject for some- the taboo topic of licking your girlfriends
butt; licking ass; tossing salad. It may be a sexually invigorating subject for others. First
of all...some say that it is gay. I beg to differ. How can an act a man performs on a
woman be considered homosexual? (But, dont let her play around your anus AT ALL. If
her hand accidentally slides down there while she attempts to grip your buttocks during
missionary position sex - you HAVE to head-butt her! Dont think about it, just do it!!!
More than 3 seconds with a finger within 6 inches of your anus will turn you gay
instantly. I heard it in a Bishop Eddie Long Sermon).

Now, lets lay down some ground rules:
1. You cant put your mouth on every woman you date. This is reserved solely for your
Queen, not the damsels loitering around your castle.
2. Her hygiene must be up to par. She must be fresh out of the shower and smell like
juice & berries.
3. You must not make this a regular practice. It should be reserved for special occasions
such as birthdays, Valentines Day, new job, her being quiet while you watch the game,
etc.

I know youre wondering WHY you would want to perform such an act on your Queen. If
youre wondering this, you most likely have a dysfunctional relationship. This is about
PLEASING her. You may say, "Shes not into that". But, how do you know? Have you
tried it on her? No? Shes probably cheating on you with that butt licking deacon at
church that is always grinning at her from the pulpit on Sundays. Why do you think your
dog licks its own butt for 2 hours a day? Because it feels GOOD! Thats why! When you
start doing things to please your woman, shell go out of her way to please you more.
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Ask yourself: Is she leaving dishes in the sink? Its because youre not licking her ass! Is
she not separating your light and dark clothes when she does laundry, leaving all your
white clothes pink? Lick her ass, Camron!

Face it... youre supposed to lick her butt. Why do you think they look like buns when
shes lying on her side? Its a reminder that its edible and a rich source of fiber. You may
wonder, "How do I bring it up to her that I want to lick her butt?" The answer is... YOU
DONT!!! JUST DO IT!!! Bend her over one night, inspect her anus for dingleberries,
start eating her from the back and then slide your tongue to her poop shooter. Close
your eyes and gently eat (lick, not actually EAT) her butt like the Last Supper. Your sex
game is now advanced, young disciple! Tongue kiss her RIGHT after youre done so she
can never call you "shitty mouth" without talking about herself also.

The days immediately after, you should notice a change in her behavior. Shes probably
smiling more. Shes told all of her friends about the whole experience and they wont
share lipstick with her any more. Your whole lives are changing for the better because
you took a leap of faith and decided to taste.

Girlfriends, pass this on to your boyfriends. Boyfriends, pass this on to your fathers and
save your parents marriage. Just try not to pass on hepatitis in the process.

Nova Knows!

I Love You,
Nova Giovanni









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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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Why I Love Black Vagina
(And You Should Too!)


Hello, loyal reader. In an effort to further engage you all, Ill occasionally share some of
my favorite discoveries with you. Today, I will delve into the Black vagina (not literally,
though I wish)...more specifically, the Black womans vagina. No offense to vaginas of
other creeds and origins, but this certain type of vagina happens to be my preference. I
will inform you on what Ive learned through hands on and face to face interactions with
the Black vagina. It is definitely one of the finest creations to ever grace the face of the
earth, as well as my face.
First, to understand the Black vagina - we must first understand some of the history
surrounding it. Many years of African-American struggle has caused the Black womans
vagina to gain tension and techniques therein. Therefore, her cooter cat has a special
ability that scientists cant explain. She has the ability to tightly tighten her vaginal
muscles at a moments notice, causing a vacuum seal. This talent she bears is especially
desired by her male counterparts during sexual gratification. The Black womans
constricting love muscle has been compared to the powerful prowess of a Pit bulls jaws.
Even more impressive than the Black vaginas muscular ability is its impeccable taste. It
is NO coincidence that when you part the royal lips- it resembles Neapolitan ice cream.
However, THIS strawberry and chocolate blend is constructed in a more beautiful
sequence than Haagen Daz could EVER imagine producing. Being low in preservatives
and high in nutrients, it is INDEED a healthy and fulfilling snack.
Nova Knows!

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Side Effects: May cause sleepiness, child support and distraction from goals. Please
consult a doctor before over-indulging. If you are a punk and have symptoms of
punkism, Black vagina may NOT be for you (Notable examples: O.J. Simpson, Kobe
Bryant, Terrell Owens).
That is all I can share for now. The excitement of just writing about such a subject is too
much for my loins. Thank you for reading!

I Love You,
Nova Giovanni


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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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How to Go From the Friend Zone
to the End Zone



Hello, loyal reader. Are you in the friend zone? Do you want to go from just friends to
getting skins? Good, because Nova is here to help you. After reading this, you will go
from just a buddy to getting some cutty.

First, lets tackle the most likely problem. The most common problem is the person
youre interested in looks at you like a brother/sister. That is probably because you
listen to their relationship problems and are their personal sponge. You soak up all of
their problems, they squeeze you and you drench out what they want to hear. THAT is
where you messed up.

First of all, NO man should want to listen to a woman about HER relationship problems.
That either makes you look brotherly or gay. In fact, she probably looks at you like her
gay brother. Women, in your case - you shouldnt want to hear about HIS relationship
problems. That is what he has sisters and/or female cousins for. How can they look at
you in a sexual manner after youre the ear for their tears?

Being the "G" that I am, I dont know how it is to be in the friend zone. But, I can teach
you how to get into the end zone (scoring!!!). You have to get your sexy back (no Justin
Timberlake). In other words, you have to re-create yourself in their eyes. Next time they
want to share their relationship issues with you, tell them "Ive got my own problems". It
may sound cruel, but show your assertiveness. Let that whining wimp know that youre
not the company for their misery.

Now, that youve let them know that your nuts hang (or your nips hang in regard to the
ladies) - its time for action!


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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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Most importantly, anything that is always available loses value. Stop being so available!
Whenever they call, hit ignore and text them back. Whenever you talk to them, either
let them know what youve just got finished doing or are about to do. Be (fake) busy and
watch them want your company. Better yet, start hanging out with someone else of your
opposite sex. If you cant do that, just say that you are. Have you noticed that a lot of
times people dont let you know theyre interested in you until they see you with
someone else? This is the logic were using here.
Nova Knows!

By now, you should have cut down on how much you supply yourself and increased your
demand. Now, when you come around - make sure you look and smell your best. You
cant make your long awaited return with the aura of a gym sock. No! Step your fresh up!
Wear a new outfit and some new scents even if its only for a visit. When you see them
again, feel out the situation. Dont get caught up in idle conversation. Then...LEAVE!
Yes... leave early. It is always better to under stay your welcome than to overstay it.
Youve just made a whole new impression.

Guess what? Youre sexy now. Dont mess it up. Wait for THEM to contact you. The next
time you visit, set up an activity to where youll eventually be alone. Not just alone, but
alone with liquor. Grandma was right when she told you "liquor is quicker". Why do you
think Gramps had all those children before she had running water? Oops, I digress -
lets get back to the subject at hand. After youre both a little tipsy, ask them how they
REALLY feel about you. Let them know that youre interested in them. Most likely,
theyll let you know they feel the same way (NOW they do). Congratulations!!! Youre
out of the friend zone!

On the contrary, if that doesnt work and they look at you like a weirdo - youre still fine.
All you have to do is blame it on the alcohol. Back to the friend zone you go. It is better
to try and fail than to never have tried at all. What did you REALLY lose?

I Love You,
Nova Giovanni


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"Ramen Noodle Soup for the Soul"
Copyright 2011 (c) Nova Giovanni. All Rights reserved.

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