Wisdom Based Computing, Volume 1, Issue 1, April 2011
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THE 6Я▲ΞMΞ †!MΞ§ A n e w s p a p e r b y M i t c h F r a s e r & G r a e m e S t e w a r t
WIG-NAPPED! A local business has marred by sea-thievery early Sunday WANTED afternoon. The following is an Authorities say an eight-armed artist rendering of the beast was spotted with multiple wig-napper: wigs on Spring Garden road shortly after 3:00pm. “I heard rumors that it was some bitch with some big-ass lips, using her giant lips to suction the wigs right off the mannequins” says Mitch Fraser, local pirate. Investigations are now underway, but the manager remains “pissed off.” Merchandiser Kathy Marsh says, “When I came in my store and seen naked heads, I was distraught. Theyʼre un-beautifying my girls!” Time will tell whether or not our wigs will drift ashore or remain lost at sea. - Graeme Stewart, Graeme Times S e a m u s o f f e r s a l t e r n a t i v e p e r s p e c t i v e ! “I SAW Seamus Dalton, also an employee of American Apparel, offers a different take on the situation. IT!” “All Iʼll say is that this shit is definitely an inside job…” he remarks mysteriously. If you or anyone you know has any information on the wig-napper, write in to the Graeme Times. You could see your article in the next issue!