issue #, date
THE LEWES NEWS
Mayor beats wife
Issue I, 25 may 2012
Noodle emerges the victory in a friendly duel against wife
To all level 1's: There is a free-to-enter competition
to name Lewes' warship. Please submit a name
suggestion to Noodle by 25 May 2012 to be voted
upon by the Lewes public. People whose warship
names are ranked in the top 5 shall receive the grand
prize of a fishing boat.
Congratulations to Sophia_tan,
Balako, and Hunter Bucks for
attaining level 1. Special thanks to
Mentor Elsbet and the Lewes
community for their support.
County & National News
Alistair Forthwright presents the
Sussex Joust Competition, in which
the first round has started with three
In what appears to be a
support from all of Sussex.
jousts completed. Mayor Noodle, has
generally friendly duel
achieved victory over Pocket the Fool.
Lady Shirinova defeated TM Monty
against husband and wife,
Unfortunately, it was not
in a close battle. Lewesian Kobi also
Mayor Noodle defeated
enough to secure Lady Cer a
lost against his opponent Aelan.
Lady Cerculetze in battle.
victory. Noodle dealt
Lewes has shown great form with
seven representatives that registered
devastating blows while
for the joust. Go and support!
It is unclear as to why they
Lady Cer responded below
All of Sussex is invited to the Royal
would choose to make their
the belt, resulting in the loss
Wedding of King Hezlog Neutrino
private wrestling a public
of Noodle masculinity as the
and Lady Cookie Duncan on the 26th
concern, as scores of
of May in London Commons.
commentators began to call
townspeople gathered to
him "Miss Noodle."
watch the outcome. Lady Cer
Editor: Hunter Bucks
was picked as the favourite
Both seem content with the
10 Eastgate Street, Lewes, Sussex
to win, having overall
Please contact if you have news!
Local madman plots TURTLE INVASION
Because madmen make for the most interesting news, he seemed to express disdain for the Royal family
Balako was seen in the Swinging Anchor recruiting
and guards. Balako went so far as to say that his
people to assist in the capture of Lady Elsbet's turtles. future turtles would even make the Hammer Clan
If Balako could only get said turtles in his possession,
he would be able to breed an elite buccaneer group of Supporters of his cause should undertake the
teenage mutant ninja-pirates. These turtles, he
honourable effort of retrieving said turtles. Lady
believed, could overcome England in an invasion, as
Elsbet seems to be ready with rolling pin for defence.
issue #, date
Hotly debates over hot buns
Newly appointed Trade Minister
without discussing it with the
Monty, backed by the support of
mayors first. At this moment,
the Council, embarked on a
Mayor Noodle has not
campaign to rally bakers to bake
expressed any public opinion
bread and supply the County's
regarding the council's actions.
need to feed Levan. While the
bakers who responded to the call
The Countess has further
seem willing, there has been
attempted to reassure the
growing criticism that the
people that they will not raid
Council has overstepped the
the town markets of bread, thus
Mayors' jurisdiction over local
they will not impact the towns
bakers and millers in their
Town Councillor Princeb
negatively. She further seeks to
respective towns. There has been
strengthen relations with the
is undertaking the
concerns that such an endeavor
mayors and work together on
opening of "The Pier" for
is detrimental to the towns as
townspeople to enjoy the
employing the bakers would
coast and fishing. He is
deplete markets of their bread.
Hot buns seem to be the hot
topic of the week. Its necessity
planning to set up small
Countess Penelope de Grey has
as a basic food for all has
businesses in the area.
defended the Council's actions,
certainly showed people are
Please contact him if
but also apologised for not
concerned enough to fight over
having approached local bakers
Editor's Note: The beginnings of the Lewes News
Greetings. I am Hunter Bucks endeavouring to
provide the town with the latest news, gossip, and
town announcements. Let's say there's not enough
hunting to keep me busy. As I am one person, this is
a humble venture that is in need of financial and
Please contact me if you wish to purchase an ad
(This is RP. IG I want nothing) or want to provide a
column or article to the paper. I cannot promise to
output this newsletter on a routine basis, but will go
along as I see fit in my leisure time.
I may be inclined to use anything you say on
taverns or in a public forum, and I am also open to
Thanks to Oliver Westcott, the town map
conducting interviews for articles. Please let me
has been updated. Feel free to request your
know if you do not wish to see your name in the
home to be presented in the public.
paper, as I mean no ill intent towards anyone.