The Little Black Book of Richard Crane

The Little Black Book of Richard Crane
By
Timothy Richards

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EXT. PICNIC AREA - DAY
An idyllic summer's day in an inner-city park. A young
couple have been picnicking in a quiet, secluded spot. A
young man, Richard Crane, lays on a tartan picnic blanket,
gazing dreamily skyward. On the grass beside him is what is
left of a neatly presented picnic; empty wine glasses, a
wicker hamper, fine china plates and perfectly folded
napkins. A young girl, her face obscured, but immaculately
dressed for the summer, is busily and efficiently packing
away the remains.
INT. ROOM - DAY (BLACK AND WHITE)
We see Richard sitting in a chair, talking directly into the
camera. Parts of this talk are shown in between each scene
and often during scenes.
RICHARD
Internet dating is a funny
business, isn't it?
FLASHBACK TO:
INT. STUDY - EVENING
Richard is in his study. He is is browsing internet dating
sites on his computer.
RICHARD (V.O.)
At first glance, it's perfect. It's
like choosing a car. You can sift
through everything that you don't
want and when you find something
you like, you can take it.
INT. PUB - DAY
Samantha sits at a table opposite Richard. She is deep in
conversation but Richard isn't listening. He's too busy
trying to not fall asleep. stares straight at her.
RICHARD (V.O.)
But, there's usually a catch.
Normally some hidden type of
insurance or a clause in a contract
that says that your soul is now in
the possession of Gary, the car
salesman. In terms of internet
dating; it's normally that the
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)

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CONTINUED:
2.
RICHARD (V.O.) (cont'd)
girls you like, don't always look
the way they looked in their
photos, or their personality is
shit, or they don't shut up. Case
in point: Samantha, here. She's one
of the girls who won't shut up.
What's she saying to me? I lost
interested in it about twenty
minutes ago. Right now, I'm just
thinking of fun ways to break up
with her...
EXT. TRAIN STATION - DAY
Richard and Samantha are waiting together at a train station
platform. Richard looks at Samantha and there is an awkward
pause. Samantha thinks Richard is about to kiss her but
Richard pushes her in front of the oncoming train.
RICHARD (V.O.)
The tiniest of things were getting
to me. She mentioned something
about a brother... Keith? It made
me angry just thinking about it. In
a fit of blind rage I panicked and
pushed her in front of a train.
Luckily, I don't think anyone saw
me. Look it's not that I'm picky. I
just don't see the point in living
with something you're not happy
with.
INT. CAFE - DAY
Richard is sat on a comfortable sofa in a cafe drinking
coffee with another young attractive girl, Katie Mills. They
seem as if they're in a deep conversation.
RICHARD (V.O.)
Next there was Katie. She was
nice... A bit talkative but not as
much as Samantha... so I let her
off. Her problem was that she
didn't seem to make any effort in
her appearance, though. How could I
be with someone like that?

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3.
EXT. CAR PARK - DAY
A sparsely populated car park around the back of the cafe.
Richard and Katie approach the rear of Richard's car. He
calmly opens the neatly packed boot and slowly reaches in
for a cricket bat. In one swift blow Richard swings the bat
which, apparently, strikes Katie in the head. The screen
goes black but the voice over continues.
RICHARD (V.O.)
It's ironic, really, that I got rid
of the girl who made no effort in
the most unimaginative of manners.
INT. ROOM - DAY (BLACK AND WHITE)
Richard is clearly annoyed just thinking about the girls he
dated.
MAN BEHIND CAMERA
You don't have much luck with this,
do you?
Richard's anger immediately disappears at the thought of the
last girl he meets.
RICHARD
(laughing) Funny you should
say that...
CUT TO:
EXT. PARK BENCH - DAY
Richard sits patiently, alone on a park bench. He checks his
watch as people walk by. Suddenly a young attractive girl
appears by his side carrying a traditional wicker picnic
hamper.
RICHARD (V.O.)
This last girl... she's probably
the most beautiful girl I've ever
met. So kind, so funny, so sweet.
She made a picnic for us. I
genuinely thought she was a keeper.
We both dressed well, both spoke
well, we liked the same music, same
filsm; everything was just perfect.

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4.
EXT. PICNIC AREA - DAY
Richard and the young girl are having a great time at the
picnic, laughing and smiling and having a great
conversation.
RICHARD (V.O.)
We had so much in common.
INT. ROOM - DAY (BLACK AND WHITE)
We see the girl sitting in a chair in the same place as
Richard is during his interview, talking in a manner similar
to him, directly into the camera.
GIRL
We had too much in common.
EXT. PICNIC AREA - DAY
GIRL (V.O)
It was a little off-putting. I
couldn't cope with it so I
eventually had to spike him...
Richard takes a sip of his drink and starts struggling for
breath. He eventually falls to the floor.
INT. ROOM - DAY (BLACK AND WHITE)
GIRL
And it worked. He was gone within
seconds.
As she talks, the camera slowly zooms out and we see Richard
sitting next to her.
RICHARD
Like I said, we had a lot in
common.
Richard laughs at the irony, then his smile turns into a
look of vacancy then into disappointment, sadness and
sorrow. He is left looking around trying desperately not to
cry, the girl remains looking straight at the camera. He
eventually looks at her and on the screen appears:
(THE END)
The credits roll.

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