Wish For All Of You
George Carlin gave a talk much
about words in his comedy acts.
There is much fact to his opinion
that what we come to a decision is
a bad or good word is typically
arbitrary and will not make any
sense. Men and women can
usually choose words that hurt,
but what about words that induce
or are made to help to make an
individual wrong bad or not good
Knowing these words and transforming them, may
help your social connections be more caring.
Additionally, since we all speak to ourselves,
sometimes called, "self talk" or affirmations, what you
say to yourself really matters too.
Provoking words are usually judgmental
words that are established to try and get
yourself or some other person, feel wrong,
bad or not sufficient, intentionally or not.
Here are a few examples:
Think back to all of the times it is possible to remember
another person suggesting that you "should" make a move.
We all hear this day by day from associates, colleagues,
parents, partners, or significant others. Could you
remember just once that the word made you feel fine?
Examples: "You should be a greater person." "I should hang
out with my kids." "I should exercise more." "You should
drive a little bit slower honey."
Can you feel the feeling that this word produces in
you? Notice that it does not feel great. When
conversing with ourselves or others you could feel
much better by replacing the phrase could or would for
the word should or if you may even rebuild the concept
altogether to be nonjudgmental. Should is a judgment
word that produces anyone wrong and doesn't feel
great no matter how you use it.
When we use the word why we regularly are positioning
ourselves or yet another person in a defensive situation. It is
hinting you'll want to defend yourself. Should it feel great to
defend yourself? Does it feel good when you make some other
person defend themselves? We are able to ask questions that
don't provoke feeling of defense. Examples: "Why did you do
that?" "Why did you hurt me?" "Why can't you see what your
doing?" How about, "I would like to fully understand you better."
"What I hear you saying." "I feel there might be a uncertainty."
How do those statements have you feeling?
Usually once we use the word you we are defining a person, or
pointing a person. Examples: "You are a bad...", "When are you
going to...","You think you're so smart..." Use the word I or We
as much as feasible. This normally places the obligation back on
yourselves or produces mutual responsibleness and will retain
men and women not on the defensive which is a place you don't
want to be in a relationship.
Rather than Always or Never try using Sometimes.
"You always do that to me!" vs. "Sometimes that bothers me."
Frequently while we are actually talking to a person and telling
them they always or never take action we are using an absolute
that is not true but meant to make the other individual wrong,
shut them down, leave competition or defensiveness. It's unlikely
that any of these form trust and intimacy in a relationship with
someone else or with yourself.
Fault is a word that produces a feeling that for most, does not
feel good. Duty is usually a better way of indicating someone's
choice then using Fault. Fault ensures that you have the
authority to make anyone wrong. If you hear the word Fault,
doesn't that feel horrible? "It was your fault that you left the
windows open, now everything is wet!" Vs. "It was your
accountability to shut the car windows."